What was the most flexible dinosaur? Tyrannosaurus Flex.
What do you call a noisy group of crows?
A caw-cophony!
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
I got in a fight with a crab yesterday.
When I punched him he ran, goon.
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
What did the crow said when it saw a car coming? Cawr.
What do you get if you put an alligator in a blender?
Gatorade.
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth? Hard cheese!
How much fur can you get from a dinosaur ? As fur as you can get!
There once was a koala who could run at a speed of more than 800 miles per hour. He was the first koala to break the sound bearier.
What is a rabbit’s favorite dance? The bunny hop.
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
The only things wolves have that no other animal on the face of the earth has are wolf cubs.
Why does a duck say quack?
Because it can’t say moo.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
Turtles love taking shell-fies.
What is a deer’s favorite meal of the day?
“Deer-ner.”
What do you call a spiders child?
An arach-kid.
Before training its killer dolphins, Iran had to convert them to fishlam.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
Did you hear about the psychic hermit crab?
Makes shell-fulfilling prophecies.
What did a duck say to the comedian?
You quack me up.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
If a crab worked in a pizza parlor, which station would it work?
The crust station.
The turkey says, "gobble, gobble."
I appreciate it when food comes with instructions.
What does Spider-man become when he joins the circus?
an aracnobat.
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with an elephant?
An animal that remembers where it hid its nuts.
What soccer position does a pink flamingo play? Flamingoalie.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
What do you call an elephant with rotors?
A Nellie-copter.
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, “Is the bar tender here?”
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
What do your call a dinosaur with one eye? Eye-saur.
Why did the T-Rex eat hamburgers? Because he is a meat eater!
Where do owls go on their honeymoon?
Their love nest.
How does a bee get to school?
She takes a school buzz
What do you call a snake that builds things?
A boa constructor.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
Some marine biologists argued about how best to handle angry dolphins.
The were working at cross porpoises.
Psychologist: What brings you here today?
Squirrel: I realized I am what I eat….. Nuts.
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
What’s the silliest name you can give a tiger?
Spot.
How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?
Ten-ants.
What happens when fish start an addiction to worms?
They get hooked.
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