What do koalas do when they see social injustice happening in the world? They fight for ekoalaty!
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
Why won't the dog listen to the farmer's sheep jokes?
He's herd them all.
What do you call it when evil worms take over the world?
Global Worming!
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
What Do You Call Two Ducks And A Cow?
Quakers and milk.
What did the deer say to his sulky friend?
“Buck up!”
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
What did the dolphin say when it broke its neighbor’s window?
It wasn’t on porpoise!
Q. What's on display at the Canadian Moose Museum?
A. Mod deer 'n art.
Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"? Because they never learned good table manners!
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
How do you get a one-armed monkey out of a tree?
Wave to it.
Where do ants go on vacation?
Frants.
Why don't crabs donate to charity?
They're shellfish penny pinchers.
Why don’t crabs donate to charity?
Because they’re shellfish
What is small, has a long tail and works with the police?
A gerbil shepherd dog!
I want to start a deer breeding business…
But first, I’m gonna need about 5,000 bucks.
How do you plan to shell-ebrate the New Year?
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
Why did the otter cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
What kind of books do owls read?
Hoo-dunnits.
Why don’t dolphins have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
What's a Koalas favorite drink? Coca Koala!
Why did the chimpanzee cross the road?
Because he had to take care of some monkey business.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
What is the biggest ant in the world?
An elephant.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
What animal can go into a tiger’s den and came out alive?
The tiger.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Beaver Y.
Beaver Y. who?
Bea-ver-y quiet, you are in a library.
My pet crocodile needs help
Can I give him gatorade or does it only work for alligators?
Where does a turtle go when it's raining?
A shell-ter.
Why did the giant ape climb up the side of the skyscraper?
Because the elevator was broken.
After graduating from high school, crows go to caw-lleges for further studies.
The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances.
The police suspect fowl play.
What do dinosaurs put on their pizza? Tomato-saurus
What do you call an ant who doesn’t smell anymore?
Deodor-ant.
On Halloween night a group of crows decided to enact a scene from the play Julius Ceaser, they were enacting the caw-nspiracy scene.
What do seals do when they need medical attention?
Sea kelp.
What would you call a dream where a koala bear is eating you? A bite-mare.
What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.
What did one beaver say to the other at the river? Dam it.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
The tiger came went to the salon. Now, other animals of the jungle call him 'Shaved Khan.'
What do dinosaurs have that no other animals have? Baby Dinosaurs.
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
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