I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
What does a deer call her boyfriend?
Cari-boo.
Why did the giraffe graduate early?
He was head and shoulders above the rest of the class.
What do you say when you catch a bee?
Behold!
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
What do you call a fight between squirrels?
A squarrel
Why are alligators long and green?
Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes.
How do you write a book about bats? With a ghostwriter.
What's the difference between a lobster and a Chinese man who's been run over by a bus?
Ones a crustaecian and the other is a crushed Asian.
What is a deer’s favorite after-school snack?
“Doe-nuts.”
What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell?
Addercadabra and abradacobra.
How can a camel walk the desert without getting hungry? Because of all the sandwhiches there.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
The tiger asked his longtime friend, "Will you be my tigerlfriend."
How do beavers make a bouncy dam? Well, they use spring water.
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
A zoo owner introduced his tiger to the visitors by saying "this is the most paw-some tiger at the zoo".
What do you call a room full of crows? Crowded.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite game?
Jump rope.
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
Who is a crow’s favorite actor? Russell Crow!
What do you call a monkey at the North Pole?
Lost.
How can you hear the sounds of a group of dolphins?
Listen to their podcast.
What does the mummy parrot say to her baby? Beak-areful!
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
What do you call a parrot with an umbrella? Polly unsaturated.
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
Have you ever heard of the Poder bird?
It is also known as the Toucan
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
Where does a baby monkey sleep?
In an apricot.
There is nothing impaws-sible if you’re as brave as a tiger!
Heard about the devoted beaver who crossed the turbulent river? He took a leap of faith!
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
What do you call a blind dinosaur? adoyouthinkhesaurus.
Why does a duck say quack?
Because it can’t say moo.
What do you call a group of lions partying on ships in Gibraltar?
A strait pride parade.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
What do you call a clever ant?
Brilli-ant.
How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? Down in the mouth!
What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
What does a well-educated owl say?
Whom.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
When do chickens go to bed?
Half past hen!
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
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