What fruit do vampire bats like the best?
Neck-tarines.
What do you call an italian mosquito?
Malario.
What do you call a light-headed elephant?
An ele-faint.
How do officials start the races at the pink bird olympics? They say three... two... one... flaminGO!
What do beavers like to put on their salads?
Branch dressing.
What’s black and white with red spots?
A panda with the measles.
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
What do you call a rabbit housekeeper? A dust bunny.
On which day do tiger eat people?
Chewsday
Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.
Why was the little bear so spoiled?
Because its mother panda’d to its every whim!
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
What do you call a Tyrannosaurus under stress?
A nervous rex.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because there was a quack in the sidewalk.
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
I was talking to a barn owl last night, when I mentioned that I'd just got engaged.
He said, "You twit! To who?"
What did the bat complain about?
Flying with such frequency was exhausting.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
A mosquito was trying to land on my arm.
I shook it and said:
"Not on my watch."
How do you know when a baby koala bear is happy? You’ll see them jump for joey!
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
What’s black and white and as hard as a rock?
A panda that’s fallen in cement.
What do you call a well-dressed ant?
Eleg-ant.
What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
What does the parrot get at the end of a restaurant meal? The bill!
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
Where does the Easter bunny get his eggs? From an eggplant.
What did the Easter bunny say to the carrot?It’s been nice gnawing you.
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth? Hard cheese!
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
When does a Koala go "moo"? When it is learning a new language!
Where does a turtle go when it's raining?
A shell-ter.
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face? A mouse-tache!
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
What did the fawn say to warn her friend about the haunted house?
“Don’t go deer!”
What do you call a flying elephant?
A jumbo jet.
Ravens fans are so tough....they hang out in crowbars.
Today I learned that a giraffe’s neck is so strong a human can climb up it.
Also, I got banned from my local zoo.
How many worms does it take to eat a zombie?
It depends on the size of the zombie!
What did the deer order to drink at the bar?
Ice cold deer.
What is white and has long ears, whiskers, and sixteen wheels? Two rabbits on Rollerblades!
What do you call an alligator who kills bugs all day long?
A fumigator.
What family does Maiasaur belong to? I don't think any families in our neighborhood have one!
Our flamingo colleague was leaving for a new job recently. We all told him to flamingo for it.
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
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