What did the llama say when the other llama asked if they wanted to go on holiday?
Alpaca suitcase.
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
My dyslexia has reached a new owl.
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
What kind of dinosaur can you ride in a rodeo? A Bronco-saurus!
What do you get if you cross a frog with a ferry?
A hoppercraft.
Why do seals swim in salt water ?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
What do you call a beaver with a bad attitude who acts lazy? A beaver that doesn’t give a dam.
What would you call a dream where a koala bear is eating you? A bite-mare.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
I had a bet on a giraffe race yesterday but my selection lost.
It was nowhere near winning – it lost by a neck.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
Why should you never do math with a tiger?
If you add 4+4 you're gonna get ate.
I asked my dog why he was having a bad day.
But all he said was “ruff”.
Why should you never ever play texas hold'em with a crocodile?
You will literally lose every hand.
Ever heard of Cawsmopolitan? It is one of the best magazines for crows.
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What did the bat say to the diabetic? Nice knawing you!
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
Why had the beaver left the pond? He thought it was too shallow.
Crows, they just love sports, crow-quet to be precise.
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
When do chickens go to bed?
Half past hen!
What did the deer’s mother say to her daughter on her birthday?
“I remember the day you were fawn!”
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
These ideas are too shellow, they won’t be of any help.
When alligators need energy, they just slug down some gator-ade.
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
What happened when the tiger ate the comedian?
He felt funny!
Why don’t alligators watch movies?
Because they live in swamps.
What do you call a maternal Turkish robot water weasel?
An Ottoman otter-mom automaton.
Got a pet zebra, didn’t realise how hungry they are. He eats like a horse.
What do you call a SWAT team of alligators?
Gator-raid.
If there's a bee in my hand, then what's in my eye?
Beauty.
Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder.
What do you call a blind dinosaur? adoyouthinkhesaurus.
A family of beavers were walking across a river. During that time, the dad said to the family: “Dam it.”
What has 4 wheels and flies?
Garbage truck
Who called it a goat petting zoo...
and not Close Encounters of the Herd Kind?
Why are parrots so good at imitations? They love parrot-y! (parody)
When is a black dog not a black dog?
When it’s a Greyhound.
If you have a parrot, it says a lot about you!
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
What do stylish kangaroos wear?
Jumpsuits.
What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell?
Addercadabra and abradacobra.
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