What did the duck say when he dropped the dishes?
“I hope I didn’t quack any.”
Thinking about selling my crab so i could make money. Then I realised "am I really this shellfish"?
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
What did the goat say when he woke up on a train?
I have no idea how I goat here.
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t eat, drink, or even walk?
A computer mouse.
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
What did the koala radio host say before going on a commercial break? “We’re going to take a small paws for our sponsors.”
What is an owl’s dream occupation?
Flight attendant.
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
What do you call an ant from overseas?
Import-ant.
What do tigers sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells! Jungle bells!
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
What bee is most indecisive?
A May bee!
What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global Worming.
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
What can one parrot do?
Not as much as toucan.
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
My wife and I went to a turtle pun class yesterday.
It tortoise nothing.
What do you call two crows flying together?
An attempted murder
What is a frog's favorite time?
Leap year.
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
Which flower is known as the most ferocious flower? A tiger lily.
Which bat can hang the highest and longest?
The acro-bat.
How do crabs evade taxes?
They set up shell corporations.
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
What do you call a duck with fangs?
Count Duckula.
Never trust a flamingo unless you can be sure it has fully fledged ideas.
What did the Tyrannosaurus rex get after mopping the floor? Dino-sore!
What Do You Call Two Ducks And A Cow?
Quakers and milk.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
Why wasn’t the giraffe invited to the party?
He was a pain in the neck.
What kind of car does an otter drive? A Furrari.
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
Who is the Easter Bunny’s favorite movie actor? Rabbit De Niro!
The hipster beaver denied swimming in the river. He said it was too main-stream.
What is the popular computer game that crows play? Caw of Duty!
How do you say farewell to a very optimistic insect?
Buoyant!
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
What do bees chew?
Bubmble gum.
I just got an adorable baby goat, but it can’t bend its legs.
The vet said it’s a cute kid knee disorder.
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
What do you get when you cross two fish with two elephants?
A pair of swimming trunks.
Why does a duck say quack?
Because it can’t say moo.
What do you call a frog hanging from the ceiling at Christmas?
Mistletoad.
Why was the glow worm unhappy ?
Because her children weren’t that bright !
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.
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