If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one? Goblet.
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
Wolves love taking woofles for breakfast, they are sweet and amazing.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
Why do dogs find it hard to work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.
When you cross a sheep and a wolf, you will end up with a new sheep, you can’t make such a costly mistake with wolves.
What do you call a man who is too big for an alligator to eat?
A jawbreaker.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
Which hotel do mice most often use?
The Stilton.
What do you call a zoo that has only giraffes in it?
Giraffic Park.
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
Where do bats keep their money?
The blood bank.
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face? A mouse-tache!
What did the baby mouse do when she saw a bat?
She ran home and told her mother she saw an angel
Why did the koala get fired from his job?
Because he would only do the bear minimum.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
I went to the zoo the other day and saw an alligator that will only eat finely chopped food.
It was an alligrator.
What do you call a bat with the flu?
An airborne disease.
Did you know alligators can grow up to 18 feet?
But most of them only have four!
Who is the Easter Bunny’s favorite movie actor? Rabbit De Niro!
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
Why don’t koalas like fast food? Because it’s too hard for them to catch.
The poor werewolf was busy chasing his own tail. We were later told that he was trying to make ends meet.
What kind of underwear do monkeys wear?
Chimpantsies.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
Where does a bee use the bathroom?
BP
Why did the chicken go to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
Where does a tiger sleep?
Anywhere he wants to!
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Water.
Water who?
Water your plans for the weekend, Mr Beaver?
What are crisp, like milk and go 'eek, eek, eek' when you eat them? Mice Krispies!
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
What do you call a panda who’s lost his dinner?
Bamboozled.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
A group of crows placed evenly between two margins is definitely a justified murder.
Have you ever tried setting fire to a flamingo? It’s really easy, you just burn the O.
What is a dog’s favorite brand of whiskey?
Jack Spaniels.
What did the fawn say to warn her friend about the haunted house?
“Don’t go deer!”
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
What did the zoologist and the herbalist name their child? Tiger Woods.
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
What does a mosquito say to greet his girlfriend?
"M'laria."
What did the deer’s mother say to her daughter on her birthday?
“I remember the day you were fawn!”
What do you call a parrot without feathers? Bald!
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
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