Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
Why was the conservative buffalo disappointed in his child?
He was a bison.
A gang of ravens scared off individual crows and cornered them together. Well, you can say that a conspiracy of ravens preplanned a murder of crows.
Q. What do you get if you cross a devilish deer with an evil cougar?
A. A hell cat.
What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach?
A pythong.
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
Who was the criminal crow running from? The cawps.
Did you hear the gossip about the owl who hooked up with his boss?
I won’t tell you hoo.
What did the female dinosaur call her blouse making business? Try Sara's Tops
Why wasn’t the giraffe invited to the party?
He was a pain in the neck.
At What Time Does A Duck Wake Up?
At the quack of dawn.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
What do you call a bee that comes back from the dead?
Zombee
The cawllarborne of the skinny crow was so pronounced.
I saw a guy trying to cross a really busy street. Trying to be helpful, I said, “You know, there is a zebra crossing 50ft ahead.”
He said, “I hope he’s having a better luck than I am.”
I told my husband that the National Zoo's sloth bear gave birth but ate two of the three babies. He said "now she's guilty of 2 deadly sins: sloth and gluttony."
What do you call an and with frogs legs?
An antphibian.
How can you tell where the Easter Bunny has been? Eggs mark the spot.
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
What do you get when two giraffes run into each other?
A giraffic jam.
No, I'm not concerned about crows infesting my house...
It's actually just a mynah problem.
Did you know alligators can grow up to 18 feet?
But most of them only have four!
What's worse than lobsters on your piano?
Crabs on your organ!
What do you call an ant who won’t go away?
Perman-ant.
A lobster's favorite shot in tennis?
The lob.
It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
How do you know if a tiger is male or female?
Throw a rock at it. If he runs it's a male. If she runs it's a female.
What's a frog's favorite flower?
A croakus.
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
What kind of whale can fly?
A Pilot whale.
I've just thought of a really funny owl joke, but I can't use it until 2/8/20.
What do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-trance.
The next round the wolf showed up at the butchery, he was arrested. This is because he was being tracked by the police for chop lifting.
What card game do crocodiles like playing?
Snap!
What do you get when you cross two fish with two elephants?
A pair of swimming trunks.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
What's gray and furry on the inside and white on the outside? A mouse sandwich!
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
What do llamas always reply when you thank them?
No probllama.
Don't worry, bee happy!
What do you think of puns about deer?
“I’m very fawn’d of them myself.”
Have you heard about the new book all about flamingos? Apparently it’s flying off the shelves.
What’s a goat’s favorite TV show?
America’s Goat Talent.
Why should you never throw a snake like a boomerang?
Because it’ll come back to bite you.
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