How do you make a duck sing soul music?
Put him in the microwave until his Bill Withers
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
Why was the scarecrow upset with the worm?
It was going ear to ear in the corn field!
What do frogs do with paper?
Rip-it.
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
Why don’t elephants use computers?
Because they’re afraid of the mouse.
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
Never trust a flamingo unless you can be sure it has fully fledged ideas.
What do you call a deer that can write with both hands?
Bambi-dextrous.
Why are parrots so good at improvisation? Because they know how to wing it!
Tigers are probably the most roarsome animal ever created!
Went on a walk today. Had a couple of crows following me around. I'm pretty sure I have the corvid.
Why did the frog make so many mistakes?
It jumped to the wrong conclusions.
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
How do crabs evade taxes?
They set up shell corporations.
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
What did the river ask the beaver? "Water you doing today?"
What do you call an ant who doesn’t smell anymore?
Deodor-ant.
Why shouldn’t you tell an owl your secrets?
They’re always talon everyone.
What do rabbits put in their computers? Hoppy disks!
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
What position did the young vampire bat play on the football team?
Quater-bat.
What mouse was a Roman emperor?
Julius Cheeser!
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
How do deer clean their feet?
Hoof paste.
Why did the rabbit like the adventure? It was a “hare-raising tail.”
A spider saw a car he liked at the dealership and decided to take it out for a spin.
When is a car like a frog?
When it's being toad.
What did the bat do when she did not know the answer in class?
She winged it.
Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have little anty-bodies.
Two snakes parted.
The first one said, “Fangs for the memories”.
Where do bats keep their money?
The blood bank.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
I have a flamingo friend who has a fantastic imagination, but they are always indulging in flights of fancy.
I'm giving away my legless parrot, no perches necessary!
What martial art do monkeys practice?
Flung Poo.
Did you know alligators can grow up to 18 feet?
But most of them only have four!
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Oysters don’t share their pearls because they’re shellfish!
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
What does a panda use to cook his pancakes?
A pan duhhhh!
How do you plan to shell-ebrate the New Year?
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
Why did the monkey like the banana?
Because it had appeal.
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head? Because from a distance they looked like hares!
When should you stop for a glow worm? When he has a red light.
The baby beaver sang a song about the river in a video for his friends. He had a good flow.
Go to BabaMail
