Why are parrots so good at improvisation? Because they know how to wing it!
Wondering what crows prefer with soup, crows like crowtons in their soup.
What vehicle does T-Rex use to go from planet to planet? A Dinosaucer
Tony the tiger ate both of my grandmother's parents.
Tearfully, I asked him why. He just looked at me and said, "They're GREAT!"
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ? Find somewhere else to sleep!
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
Why did the junkie adopt a one legged crow?
So he could get crow cane from his vet.
How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
Why do dogs find it hard to work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.
What kind of ant is good at math?
An account-ant.
A mosquito was trying to land on my arm.
I shook it and said:
"Not on my watch."
Psychologist: What brings you here today?
Squirrel: I realized I am what I eat….. Nuts.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
What always succeeds? A toothless parrot! (sucks seeds)
How do you plan to shell-ebrate the New Year?
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce!
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A civil serpent.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
Why do people like working at the Red Lobster?
It helps them get out of their shell.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
Where do otters keep their money? In the river bank!
What is a mouse’s favorite game?
Hide and squeak!
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
What’s the scariest koala movie ever made? The Bear Witch Project.
Why don't turkeys like math?
Because when they added three to five...
They got Ate.
---
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?
Enough drumstics for a month.
Why do pandas like old movies?
Because they’re in black and white.
Got a pet zebra, didn’t realise how hungry they are. He eats like a horse.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
What's a frog's favorite game?
Hop-scotch (or leapfrog).
What did the koala write in his Valentine’s Day card to his girlfriend? “I love you-calyptus”.
Why are worms so easy to get along with?
Because they are always down to Earth.
How does Toucan Sam wear a belt?
He puts it through his loops
What do you call a dinosaur that's a loud sleeper? A Snore-a-sorus
I asked what the lion in my wardrobe was doing.
He said it was Narnia business
What do you get when you cross a snake and a plane?
A Boeing constrictor.
What does Miley Cyrus eat at Christmas? Twerk-ey!
Why cant a mosquito stand on his feet?
because they dont have mosquiTOES.
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
A beaver's tail makes them look odd.
But without it they would look otter.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
Waiter, waiter, do you have frog legs?
No, I always walk this way.
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
A Lot
I got invited to a costume party, so I went as a turtle.
I had a shell of a time.
Go to BabaMail
