Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
I felt so guilty after I stepped on that worm this morning. You should have seen it, it looked genuinely crushed.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
What do llamas always say after yoga class?
“Llamaste.”
What did the dolphin do to the woman who was rude to it?
Flipper off!
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
Why is the snail the strongest animal? Because he carries a house on his back!
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gator.
What did the grape say when the Koala stood on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
If you were in the jungle and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
What do you call a reptile that works on a farm?
An irri-gator.
What do you call a light-headed elephant?
An ele-faint.
Why did the beaver refuse to laugh at any of the twig's jokes? He is not a big fan of dry humor.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
Did the dinosaur take a bath ? Why, is there one missing?
Which Halloween treat is going to keep a crow up all night? A crowfee apple.
What do worms leave round their baths? The scum of the earth.
What do the squirrels do when they are bored ?
watch NutFlix
Where do ants go on vacation?
Frants.
Why are frogs so happy?
Because they eat whatever bugs them.
What do you call an turkey with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
How much does it cost to fly Santa’s sleigh?
About 9 bucks.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
No, I'm not concerned about crows infesting my house...
It's actually just a mynah problem.
What’s striped and goes round and round?
A tiger in a revolving door.
Mistakes happen.
No need to terrier-self up about it.
What came first, the alligator or the crocodile?
The dinosaur.
Why couldn't anyone see the flamingo? It was in de skies.
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
What did the llama get when he graduated school?
A dipllama.
Have you watched werewolves taking lunch, you will be amused, they literally wolf it down!
Did you hear about the kid that ate a whole pack of candy worms?
It’s a sour tale!
A famous turtle is called a shell-ebrity.
What do you call a snake that builds things?
A boa constructor.
Where do most koala movie stars live? In Koalawood, Koalafornia, of course!
Why do bees stay in the hive during the winter?
Swarm.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
Which murderer kills at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the Kipper.
Why can’t you breed a eel with and eagle?
It’s Eeleagle.
What do you call a cold dog sitting on a rabbit? A chili dog on a bun!
What do you call a bee that comes back from the dead?
Zombee
What do you call a parrot that won’t eat?
A Polly-no-meal.
A lobster's favorite shot in tennis?
The lob.
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
What do you call a otter that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
How do rabbits travel? By hareplane.
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