A group of crows is usually called a 'murder.' Technically, it's only a manslaughter unless there is probable caws.
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
How do you know you have a tape worm?
It’s comming out of your belly!
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
What is a flamingo's favorite thing to do at the weekend? Play fla-bingo.
What’s a goat’s favorite musical?
Joseph and his Amazing Technicolor Dream Goat.
Why are parrots so good at imitations? They love parrot-y! (parody)
What do dogs have that no other animal has?
Puppies.
What do you call a werewolf who doesn't know he's a werewolf ?
Unawarewolf.
If a lamb and tiger were crossed, you would end up with a striped sweater.
Why do worms hate graveyards?
They keep bumping into skeletons!
What do you call an ant that doesn’t sink?
Bouy-ant.
I tried to phone the spiritual leader of Tibet once, but I was sent a big goat with a long neck instead.
I must have phoned Dial-a-Llama by mistake.
What’s black and white and as hard as a rock?
A panda that’s fallen in cement.
What sound does a turkey's phone make? Wing! Wing!
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
Why was the crow upset about his job? The HR fired the crow with no caws.
What type of food do worms like?
Your Halloween Candy!
What do you call a bird that can fix anything?
Duck Tape.
How do venomous snakes kill their prey?
In cold blood.
A spider saw a car he liked at the dealership and decided to take it out for a spin.
I was talking to a barn owl last night, when I mentioned that I'd just got engaged.
He said, "You twit! To who?"
How do you give a deer a compliment?
“Fawn over him!”
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
What did the llama say when he was invited to the picnic?
Alpaca lunch.
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
Did you hear the gossip about the owl who hooked up with his boss?
I won’t tell you hoo.
What do dog scientists to with their bones?
They barium.
My wife and I are very competitive, but when it came to flamingo impersonation, I didn't stand a chance
She had a leg up the whole time.
What do you call a dinosaur that left its armor out in the rain ? A Stegosau-rust.
Who did the goats vote for as president?
Billy Clinton.
My dog loves designer hand-bags.
So I got him a Poochi.
When you cross a wolf and a monkey, you end up with a howler monkey.
What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
What do you call a snake that is 3.14 meters long?
A pi-thon.
What is the first thing that bats learn at school? The alphabat.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
How do you make a rabbit float? Put soda, syrup, and milk into a glass. Add one rabbit.
What's the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives but a frog croaks every night.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
What's green and dangerous?
A frog with a hand-grenade.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
A honey bee lands on a flower but is quickly kicked off by the spider living there. Perturbed, he flies away and lands on a different flower...
It was a cross pollination.
Why did the bat often use mouthwash? She had bat breath.
Let's play some scrabble, I just need to get the croc-a-tiles.
I asked my dog why he was having a bad day.
But all he said was “ruff”.
Why did the thieves kidnap the monkey?
Because they believed in gibbon take.
Go to BabaMail
