Where do crows try their luck?
Ma-cau
What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
My grandfather recently passed, and I discovered in his journal that he has an immense hatred for sloths, pandas, and koala bears. Looking back, it was obvious.
He was always going on about those darn tree-huggers.
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
What do you call a greedy ant?
An anteater.
What was the worm doing in the cornfield?
He was going in one ear and out the other!
Why are goats and rhinos attracted to each other?
Because they are both horny animals.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
I tried asking some beavers to help me build my house. They didn’t give a dam.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
Something’s goat to give.
What do you call a panda who’s lost his dinner?
Bamboozled.
What’s black and white, has four legs and a trunk?
Two pandas on holiday.
The sheep says to the shepherd "you're an jerk and I hate you!" and the shepherd says "Say what?"
And the sheep goes "You herd me!"
What is a koala’s favorite type of fruit? Bearies.
I bought a pack of those animal shaped biscuits,
but had to take them back as the seal was broken.
How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
How does a pod of dolphins make a decision?
They flipper coin!
What did the baby goat say to his father?
I kid you not.
It's nearly 6 years since US Navy SEALs took out Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan.
Talk Abbottabad place to hide.
What mouse was a Roman emperor?
Julius Cheeser!
What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an evil spirit? A poultrygeist!
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat? A dirty kid.
What kind of musical instrument do mice play? A mouse organ! Why do mice have long tails? Well, they'd look silly with long hair!
What sport do wasps love?
Sting-pong.
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
What do you get if you cross a bat with a woodpecker?
Bat-a-tat.
How do you make a dinosaur float? Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer, and add one dinosaur.
A snapping turtle is a turtle that takes up pgotography.
What do you call a rabbit that has fleas?
Bugs bunny.
What is a dinosaurs least favorite reindeer? Comet.
What do you get if you cross a frog with a ferry?
A hoppercraft.
What do you call a rabbit who is angry over getting burnt? A hot cross bunny.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
How did the beaver introduce his wife? This is my significant otter.
What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice?
Neck-romance-y.
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
It’s pretty easy to choose your favorite type of bird
Flamingos have a leg up on all the rest.
Why didn’t the lobster and crab share their lunch with an octopus?
Because they are too shellfish.
What did the llama say to the grass?
“Nice gnawing you!”
What do you call vampires bats that cheer at football games?
Bat-on-twirlers.
What kind of dinosaur can you ride in a rodeo? A Bronco-saurus!
Did you hear about the mother goat telling jokes?
She’s a real kidder.
What do you call someone who tells too many dinosaur jokes?
A dino-bore.
My zebra is a rubbish ballet dancer. I think he’s got two left feet.
The Easter Bunny won’t be making his usual rounds this year. He’s laid up with a hareline fracture.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
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