Why was the penguin popular?
Because he was an ice guy.
What do alligators and Windows have in common?
Neither of them has enough bytes!
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again?
A dirty double-crossing chicken.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
A honey bee lands on a flower but is quickly kicked off by the spider living there. Perturbed, he flies away and lands on a different flower...
It was a cross pollination.
Dear Turkey, don't worry... they only love us for our breasts too. Sincerely, all women.
Why are parrots the life of the party? Every day is their bird-day!
How do you make a rabbit float? Put soda, syrup, and milk into a glass. Add one rabbit.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
What's green, green, green, green, green?
A frog rolling down a hill.
What is a dog’s favorite dessert?
Pupcakes.
Q. Which deer prison is escape proof?
A. Elk-atraz.
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
Where do beavers go for a hair cut? To the bobber shop.
I love eating glow worms
Especially as a light snack
What kind of car does a mouse drive?
A mini van.
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce!
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
What do you call a otter that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
How much does it cost to fly Santa’s sleigh?
About 9 bucks.
What's a shark's favorite hobby?
Anything he can sink his teeth into.
The hotel said NO DOGS ALLOWED.
I guess it was a little too paw-sh.
What's green with red spots?
A frog with the chicken pox.
Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?
How do you know if there is a Brachiosaurus in bed with you? By the dinosnores.
What do you call an ant who likes to be alone?
Independ-ant.
Who’s a llama’s favorite actor?
Al Pacacino.
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
People in Iran are scared of spiders
But in Iraq, no phobia.
What did the rabbit say to its wife? No bunny compares to you.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
How can you tell if there is a dinosaur in bed with you? By the `D' on his pajamas.
I tried to phone the spiritual leader of Tibet once, but I was sent a big goat with a long neck instead.
I must have phoned Dial-a-Llama by mistake.
What do birds like to put in their soup? Crow-tons.
Some pink birds can be really rude. I approached a group of them the other day and they screamed “Flamingo away!”
What do bees call wasps?
Wanna-bees.
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
What do you call it when a raven marries a crow? A conspiracy to commit to murder.
What does the like to parrot wear to the beach? A beak-ini!
Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
Because talk is cheep.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
Who in the hell names their son “Tiger” ?
Only people in the Woods’
How did the hammerhead do on his test?
He nailed it.
What was the turkey suspected of? Fowl play.
Why did the bunny eat the wedding ring? Because he heard it was 18 carrots.
Which type of dinosaur could jump higher than a house ? Any kind! A house cannot jump!
What do you get when you cross two fish with two elephants?
A pair of swimming trunks.
Where do otters keep their money? In the river bank!
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