What do you call a group of politically similar crows?
A cawcus
Crows hold grudges. They're also fond of eating the dead. Now...
they've been found to copulate with corpses.
NeCROWphilia.
What do you call rabbits that live at the North Pole? Cold.
Ravens fans are so tough....they hang out in crowbars.
What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping?
Pup-peroni.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
Experts suggest that the crows flying beak first into windows at a horrifying speed comit a murder suicide.
What Do You Call Two Ducks And A Cow?
Quakers and milk.
You cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo and you end up with a turtle
neck jumper.
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
If a crab worked in a pizza parlor, which station would it work?
The crust station.
What's the difference between and Buffalo and a Bison?
You can't wash your face in a Buffalo.
What do you get when you cross a giraffe and a pig?
Bacon and legs.
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
What is a deer’s favorite after-school snack?
“Doe-nuts.”
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
Why did the duck detective get the key to the city?
Because he quacked the case.
When does a bat go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up.
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
Q. What does one teen buck say to oad another into doing something risky?
A. I double deer you!
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
If a lamb and tiger were crossed, you would end up with a striped sweater.
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.
What’s the difference between a gross bus stop and a crab with large breasts?
One’s a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
Have you heard about that socially awkward chef that only cooks with snake meat?
I’m pretty sure he has Asp burgers.
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
What happened when they planted new bamboo trees at the zoo?
It was pandamonium out there!
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
What do you call a truck-load of tortoises crashing into a train-load of terrapins?
A turtle disaster.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
When you go to the wolf hotel just around the corner, you will meet this huge, moustached wolf who always says, “howl may I help you?” as if he has no other words to us!
What is the first thing that bats learn at school? The alphabat.
Who is king of all the mice?
Mouse Tse Tung!
Why don’t giraffes do drugs?
Because they’re naturally high.
What did the married deer couple say to each other? I love you deer-ly!
What kind of music do goats listen to?
Baaa-ch!
It was reported that a tiger recently exploded in the forest fire. They say it was a Royal Bang-al Tiger.
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
What do you call a mouse who can pick up a horse? Sir!
What dinosaur is always sad? Cryalotosaurus