What do you call a monkey that sells potato chips?
A chipmunk.
What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers?
Fang letters.
What did the baby mosquito say after his first flight?
“Mama, mama! Did you see that? Everyone was clapping for me!”
What do seals do when they need medical attention?
Sea kelp.
A well-loved parrot died, and was digitally immortalized in a 3D rendering.
Polygon but not forgotten.
"Dad, what's it called if I like both boys and girls," the buffalo said.
"I believe would be a bi-son," his father replied.
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off his tail, he'll be de-lighted.
Q: How do you stop an angry tiger from charging?
A: Take away his credit cards.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
Why are two parrots better than one? One parrot can't carry a coconut, but toucan!
What is a koala’s favorite type of fruit? Bearies.
Who do elephants get their Christmas presents from?
Elephanta Claus.
Where do you take a sick hornet?
To the waspital.
What is an owl’s dream occupation?
Flight attendant.
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
What do you get when you cross a ghost with a chicken?
A poultry-geist.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
Why did the two boa constrictors get married?
Because they had a crush on each other.
What's a frog's favorite flower?
A croakus.
What do you get when you cross a Dinosaur and TNT? Dino-mite.
What did the duck say when the waitress came?
Put it on my bill.
What do koalas do when they’re facing a tough situation? They grin and bear it.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
I have so many Easter puns, it’s not even bunny.
Why do mice need oiling ?
Because they squeak !
Where did Noah keep his bees? In his archive.
I had a bet on a giraffe race yesterday but my selection lost.
It was nowhere near winning – it lost by a neck.
What do bees use to build roads? Nec-tar.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gater.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
I ordered chicken fingers tossed in Buffalo sauce the other day
I asked the chef to be gentle while tossing them though. Because they’re tenders.
What do you get when you cross ants with ticks?
All sorts of antics.
What vehicle does T-Rex use to go from planet to planet? A Dinosaucer
How do llamas say “Merry Christmas” in Spanish?
Fleece Navidad.
What does a deer do when it gets to its friend’s house?
Rings the deer bell.
The inventor of mosquito repellent likely did not know where to begin...
I guess he would have to start from scratch.
To the person who stole my coffee, my lamp, and my parrot…
I don’t know how you sleep at night.
What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
What is an owl who has been caught called?
A spotted owl.
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
My dog went on his first date.
But she was a mal-TEASE.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
Why did the monkey like the banana?
Because it had appeal.
Why are rabbits so lucky? They have four rabbit’s feet.
Did you hear about the croc and rooster that had a kid together?
It was a crocadoodledoo.
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