Why can't you trust zebras?
Because they're convicted horse felons.
How do you invite a dinosaur for lunch?
Tea, Rex?
What do you get when you cross a snake and a plane?
A Boeing constrictor.
What does a deer call a hunter?
“Doe foes.”
What eats laptops? Computer worms.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
What do you call a clever ant?
Brilli-ant.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a leaf blower? A hare dryer!
What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
I'm going to combine my interests of taxidermy and bomb making
by making you an otter you can't defuse.
Q. What does a doe say When something very unexpected happens?
A. Oh, Deer God!
What’s gray, squeaky and hangs around in caves?
Stalagmice!
Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
Deja moo:
That feeling you've heard this bull before.
What’s a deer’s favorite place to get ice cream?
Deery Queen.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
When you cross a sheep and a wolf, you will end up with a new sheep, you can’t make such a costly mistake with wolves.
Have you ever tried crossing a lion with a flamingo? It will be pink, that’s the mane thing.
What is a rabbit’s favorite dance style? Hip-Hop!
A priest is the best catch for a tiger as they like to prey.
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
How do you spot a deer behind you? With hind-sight!
Why did the Koala cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
Why don’t rabbits get hot in the summertime? They have hare conditioning!
Whats green and can jump a mile a minute?
A frog with hiccups.
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
What happens if an owl doesn't wash?
It smells fowl.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What do you call an animal you keep in your car?
A Carpet
What do sloths throw in winter? Slowballs.
What do you do if a rabbit keeps pooping in your yard? Take him to a pellet court.
What do you call a dinosaur with high heels? My-feet-are-saurus
What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman?
Frostbite.
Turtles love taking shell-fies.
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
Alligators ask lots of questions, they'd make great interri-gators.
What does a ghost panda eat?
BamBOO!
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
What do llamas say when you tell them something obvious?
“No spit, Sherlock.”
The farmer cried wolf when all his three pigs were mauled by the jungle wolf.
What did the river say to the beaver? You look so tide'y.
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an evil spirit? A poultrygeist!
What do you call two rabbits racing down the road? The fast and the furriest.
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