What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
What do you call a goat who paints pictures?
Vincent Van Goat.
What's a shark's favorite hobby?
Anything he can sink his teeth into.
What did the bunny say to its crush? Hey there hop stuff.
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
Which birds go to church a lot?
Birds of pray.
What is small, furry and brilliant at sword fights?
A mouseketeer!
What does a koala do before making any kind of appointment? He always checks his koalander.
Why did the bunny build herself a new house? She was fed up with the hole thing!
Q. What did the mother doe name her new twin babies?
A. Bam B and Bam A.
What do you call a rabbit housekeeper? A dust bunny.
A wolf that uses bad language is known as a swearwolf.
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
Baby flamingos really are badly behaved. I think it’s because their parents never put their foot down.
I got invited to a costume party, so I went as a turtle.
I had a shell of a time.
When is a turkey scary?
When it's a goblin.
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
Why shouldn’t you shoot an alligator?
He’ll just bite the bullet and make the best of it.
Did you hear about the croc calling the frog? He just croc-o-dialled.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
Where does a baby monkey sleep?
In an apricot.
Where do sharks go on vacation?
Fin-land.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
I got an email today saying I could win $10,000 in a fishing competition.
But I'm sure there's a catch involved somewhere.
What do you call a zoo that has only giraffes in it?
Giraffic Park.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?
Light ale!
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
The beavers avoid going deep-diving now. They saw one beaver hitting rock bottom.
Why did the chicken go to the zoo?
To get to the otter slide.
Why do seals swim in salt water ?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
What do you call Spider-Man at his full potential
Petest Parkest.
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
Why don’t elephants use computers?
Because they’re afraid of the mouse.
Where did Velociraptor buy things? At a dino-store!
What happens when you cross an Australian dog and a Beatle?
Dingo Starr.
what do you call it when a lady mammal that enjoys swimming a lot, who has an unattractive twin sister, fires a gun at one of her gym buddies who also happens to work with clay as their profession?
hotter water otter daughter shot her potter spotter
Why did the thieves kidnap the monkey?
Because they believed in gibbon take.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What do you call a guy who believes in ethical treatment of spiders?
Peta Parker.
Did you know you can fit 30 bananas in a kangaroo’s pouch?
Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore.
As soon as one beaver jumped in the river to search for his key, it got shocked, as the current was too strong.
Why did the deer get braces?
He had buck teeth.
What do you get if you cross a bat with a ball?
A home run.
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
Goat milk?
Where do frogs leave their hats and coats?
In the croakroom.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go on in pairs.
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