One of my friends who hates crows, looked at a flock of crows, I saw murder in his eyes.
Which are the best mathematicians amongst the snake family?
The adders.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
The baby crow decided to dress up as his favorite vegetable on Halloween, he dressed up as a caw-liflower.
A goat came out of nowhere and headbutted me
It was a ram-done act of violence
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
My wife asked why I prefer gummy bears to gummy worms.
I said that gummy worms are beneath me.
Why can’t you trust snakes?
They speak with forked tongues.
Who is the worm's Prime Minister? Maggot Thatcher.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son? If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
Was the koala able to complete the grueling 26-mile marathon? Bearly.
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
‘I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!’
What do you call a buffet for sheep?
All you can bleat!
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What did the rabbit say to its wife? No bunny compares to you.
How do officials start the races at the pink bird olympics? They say three... two... one... flaminGO!
If dolphins lived on land, which country would they live in?
Finland!
The truck load of tortoise that crushed caused a turtle disaster.
What do you get if you cross a pig with a dinosaur ? Jurassic Pork!
Why is it a bad idea to get in a fight with a monkey?
Because they use gorilla warfare.
What mouse was a Roman emperor?
Julius Cheeser!
Why do dogs find it hard to work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Beaver Y.
Beaver Y. who?
Bea-ver-y quiet, you are in a library.
Our local winery recently starting using a flock of sheep to keep the grass from getting too long.
At least that's what I herd through the grapevine.
What's green and dangerous?
A frog with a hand-grenade.
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
Why didn't the frog park on the side of the road?
He was afraid of getting toad.
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
The good pony apologized to the tiger at the zoo for his sore throat, he said: "I am sorry, I am a little horse."
Why did the Apatosaurus devour the factory? Because she was a plant eater!
What should someone do if they are stuck between a jaguar and a tiger? Simple, just take the Jaguar and drive away from the tiger.
What's a bee's favorite novel?
The Great Gats-Bee
What has four legs, four eyes, and a net? Four pirates looking for a lost parrot!
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
What is a giraffe’s favorite fruit?
Necktarines.
Two crows land on a park bench.
They were arrested for conspiring to murder.
I stole seven crows yesterday.
Got away with murder.
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
A do-you-think-he-saur-us.
What is an owl’s dream occupation?
Flight attendant.
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
What do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-trance.
What was the puppy's costume for Halloween?
The Big Bad Woof.
I got an email today saying I could win $10,000 in a fishing competition.
But I'm sure there's a catch involved somewhere.
What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use? A dino-saw. Who makes the best prehistoric reptile clothes ? A dino-sewer.
I used to own a rabbit, but now he’s just some bunny that I used to know.
The scare crow was out standing in his field, so he got awarded as the best employee of the year.
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