When fishing, is there ever a good reason to take the worm off the hook?
I guess that’s debaitable.
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
What do polite whales always say?
You’re whale-come.
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
Why won’t crocodiles attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy!
Thinking about selling my crab so i could make money. Then I realised "am I really this shellfish"?
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
What's worse than a giraffe with a sore throat? A Diplodocus with a sore throat!
I just learned how to speak parrot.
I just learned how to speak parrot.
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
Why wasn't the hunter allowed to bring his antelope and buffalo with him on the plane?
You're only allowed one carrion.
Q. What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A. A walkie talkie!
What is the most effective way to cook a crocodile?
In a croc pot.
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with a kangaroo?
An animal that keeps its nuts in its pockets.
Did you hear about the sheep's jousting tournament?
It was a real baa-lancing act.
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck... It was a camel tow
What do yuppie sharks like to drink?
Jaw-va.
What did the Tyrannosaurus rex get after mopping the floor? Dino-sore!
What is a pink bird's favorite kind of dance? Flamenco.
How does a snake shoot something?
With a boa and arrow.
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
A Lot
Where do bats go to gamble?
Bat-lantic City.
I love eating glow worms
Especially as a light snack
Have you ever tried crossing a lion with a flamingo? It will be pink, that’s the mane thing.
What Do Ducks Have With Soup?
Quackers
"How much did you have to drink?"
"About a birds worth."
"What?"
"You know, toucans."
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
Because talk is cheep.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
My grandfather had the heart of a tiger
And a lifetime ban at the zoo
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
A Zebra said to a Lion “Let’s swap roles for a while."
The Lion said “ I’m game!”.
What flies around your light at night and can bite your head off?
A tiger moth.
I stole seven crows yesterday.
Got away with murder.
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, and 12 claws on each foot? Sir.
What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, 12 claws on each foot and a personal stereo over his ears? Anything you like, he won't hear you!
Q. What did the doe say to the louse on her new baby fawn?
A. Gosh deer nit!
A lion would never cheat on its wife.
But a Tiger wood.
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
A weeping camel is known as a humpback wail.
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, “Is the bar tender here?”
What’s another popular Christmas song that baby koalas like to sing? “Joey to the World”, of course!
What do you call a three-eyed tiger?
A tiiiger.
How do the cool camels say hello?
"How you dune?"
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
When does a turkey go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
When one of them have a birthday, turtles call for a shell-ebration.
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