What Did The Duck Say When The Waitress Came?
Put it on my bill!
What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with an elephant?
An animal that remembers where it hid its nuts.
What do you use to get paint off a snake?
Serpentine.
The zookeeper was struggling to explain why two tropical birds were stuck together.
It was toucan fusing.
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
What's a frog's favorite game?
Hop-scotch (or leapfrog).
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
Why did the worm cross the playground?
To get to the underground slide!
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
What did the deer say when her crush told her a joke?
“You are doe funny!”
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
Is a goat that eats office supplies on a staple diet?
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What did the worm say to the other when he was late home? Where in earth have you been.
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
Q: What’s a tiger’s favorite color?
A: Roar-range.
I went to the Chinese buffet on crab leg night and ate my fill, but they kicked me out.
They said I was being too shellfish.
What did the beaver say to the river? You can run but can't tide.
Riding a camel really isn't as hard as they say it is.
Once you get over the first hump, the rest is easy.
How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
Where do bats keep their money? The blood bank!
Once you've seen one Lion eat a Giraffe...
You've seen a maul!
Crows love Cawnie Chung, their favorite reporter.
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
What do you call a dead flamingo?
A flaminghost.
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.
What kind of deer make great weather forecasters?
Rain-deer.
What do you call an electrically charged seal?
A seal ion.
What happened when the bear applied at the movie theater?
He was told he was not koala-fied.
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
The favourite day of the week for wolves is moonday.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
The farmer cried wolf when all his three pigs were mauled by the jungle wolf.
I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks.
I better watch my ass.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
How do you know if there is a Brachiosaurus in bed with you? By the dinosnores.
Q: Why did the tiger eat the lamp?
A: He wanted a light lunch.
What do you get when you put four ducks in a box?
A box of quackers.
What always succeeds? A toothless parrot! (sucks seeds)
I nearly kicked my dog out, but we renegotiated the terms of his leash.
What does a English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning? "Excuse Me... ahem... To be or not to be roasted, that is the question!"
What kind of shark is always gambling?
A card shark.
Flamingos are great to go out with, because they all party like flock stars.
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