Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
What was the scariest prehistoric animal? The Terror-dactyl!
How do koalas stay in shape? They do bearobics.
Sometime flamingos get fixated on one thing, and it can be hard to get them to see things from another pers-peck-tive.
What is a koala’s favorite type of fruit? Bearies.
Knock knock!
Who is there?
Beaver
Beaver who?
Be-ware of the turbulent river.
Why was the koala scientist so well-respected by his peers? He was known for conducting excellent koalatative research.
My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
If you were in the jungle and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
What do you say to a bee that bothers you?
"Buzz off!"
How did the koala bear get the high-paying job? He met all of the koalafications.
When can three giant dinosaurs get under an umbrella and not get wet? When it's not raining!
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
What was the worm doing in the cornfield?
He was going in one ear and out the other!
What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell?
Addercadabra and abradacobra.
What do you call a fight between squirrels?
A squarrel
What do beavers like to put on their salads?
Branch dressing.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
What happened if vampires came to a big dance?
A bat ball.
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY
What's the difference between Cloepatra and King Arthur?
One had Camelot and one had a lot of camels.
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Oysters don’t share their pearls because they’re shellfish!
What do you call a goat swimming in the sea?
Billy Ocean.
What does an owl with an attitude have?
A scowl.
What did the ghost say to the bee
“BOOBEE”
Why didn't the frog park on the side of the road?
He was afraid of getting toad.
Why do worms hate graveyards?
They keep bumping into skeletons!
I asked a beaver out on a date. The beaver replied: “Gnaw.” I said: “Dam.”
What's a shark's favorite hobby?
Anything he can sink his teeth into.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
Why do snakes always measure in inches?
Because they don’t have any feet.
Why did the dolphin end its own life?
It was missing a porpoise.
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
Why are goats from France musical?
Because they have French horns.
How do you make a dinosaur float? Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer, and add one dinosaur.
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
What do you get when you cross a fawn with a bumblebee?
Bambee.
What do you call dogs that look exactly the same?
Dogglegangers.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
Why do pandas have fur coats?
Because they’d look stupid in denim jackets.
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