What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
What do you call it when cephalopods start becoming more strict about things?
Kraken down.
Have you seen my lobster?
I'm worried he might by a lost claws.
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
What’s a whale’s favorite James Bond movie?
A License To Krill.
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
How will a crow with a cold fever sound like? Caw-ph, Caw-ph.
An arrogant gazelle walks up to a bunch of lions and tells them how much better he is than them.
He was consumed by pride.
What is the camels’ favorite nursery rhyme?
Humpty dumpty.
Why did the frog make so many mistakes?
It jumped to the wrong conclusions.
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
What's the difference between Cloepatra and King Arthur?
One had Camelot and one had a lot of camels.
What should you name a crow with soft down feathers? Microwsoft.
What kind of whale can fly?
A Pilot whale.
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck... It was a camel tow
What’s a shark’s favorite movie?
The Shaw-shark Redemption.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
What did one crow say to the other after the party?
We were raven.
For goat’s sake, that’s enough.
What’s black and white, has four legs and a trunk?
Two pandas on holiday.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a leaf blower? A hare dryer!
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? Down in the mouth!
One day I saw a squirrel burying lotto tickets under a large bush, so I asked him what he was doing.
He told me he was hedging his bets.
What’s striped and goes round and round?
A tiger in a revolving door.
What do you call it when a dinosaur gets in a car accident? Tyrannasaurus wreck!
What do you call a dead flamingo?
A flaminghost.
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
What did the duck eat for snack?
Salted Quackers.
What do you call a famous turtle?
A shell-ebrity.
Who has large antlers, a high voice and wears white gloves? Mickey Moose!
If I had a talking parrot, the first thing I would teach it to say is "Help, they've turned me into a parrot!"
Q. What does one teen buck say to oad another into doing something risky?
A. I double deer you!
What is a crocodiles favourite dessert?
Brandy snaps.
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
How does a turtle feel after being electrocuted?
Shell-shocked.
What does a skunk’s car run on?
Fumes.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
Riding a camel really isn't as hard as they say it is.
Once you get over the first hump, the rest is easy.
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
A zebra is the safest place to cross the road. Unless you are actually a zebra.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
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