How do bats line up in school?
In alpha-bat-ical order.
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.
What do you call a dinosaur that eats fireworks? A dino-mite
What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk? Dirty looks from the mouse!
What did the deer say when she met her favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn of your movies!”
What do you call a small, two winged insect resembling a mosquito that likes to keep the peace?
A diplognat!
What do rabbits put in their computers? Hoppy disks!
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
Where is a flamingo’s favourite place to dance? The hop, of course!
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
It’s really easy to send a nice card to a flamingo. You just write “Hope you have a flamingood…”
What do you call an illegally parked frog?
Toad.
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
Why do squirrels like to sit on telephone poles?
To stay away from the nuts on the ground.
An army of werewolves is known as a Fur-eign Legion.
My friend’s parrot lost his beak in a fan accident and he wanted to find a prosthetic. I sent him to my Uncle Tony.
He fits the bill.
What kind of monkey likes seafood?
A shrimpanzee.
What does a koala do before making any kind of appointment? He always checks his koalander.
What does a turtle do during winter? Sit by the fire and worm himself up.
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY
What does a goat call his girlfriend?
Bae.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
What’s black and white and bounces?
A rubber panda.
What is the difference between a deer nut and a beer nut?
“A beer nut is often more than a buck but a deer nut is always under a buck.”
Why do beavers make the best neighbors?
Because they mind their own dam business.
How do the crows in Texas greet each other?
Yee-caw
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
Have you ever tried crossing a lion with a flamingo? It will be pink, that’s the mane thing.
What is a dog’s favorite movie about dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark.
What’s the silliest name you can give a tiger?
Spot.
Why are snakes hard to fool?
They have no legs to pull.
A family of beavers were walking across a river. During that time, the dad said to the family: “Dam it.”
How do you measure the circumference of a Sheep?
Shepherds Pie
Just a buffalo laying down, bisoness as usual.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
What has 4 wheels and flies?
Garbage truck
What did the fawn say to warn her friend about the haunted house?
“Don’t go deer!”
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
What do you call a goat that lip-syncs?
Billy Vanilli.
Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
What was the snail doing on the highway? About one mile a day!
Don’t wait on me to start the meeting. I might be a hare late.
What happens when fish start an addiction to worms?
They get hooked.
Go to BabaMail
