Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
Young goats should be careful when they're out and and about and shouldn't jump into a stranger's car.
That's how you get kidnapped.
What did the seal with a broken arm say to the shark?
"Do not consume if seal is broken."
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
What's as big as a dinosaur but weighs nothing? Her shadow!
My pet seal was getting a bit old and wrinkly
...so I bought a seal iron
Why did the junkie adopt a one legged crow?
So he could get crow cane from his vet.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
What did the bat do when she did not know the answer in class?
She winged it.
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
What do you get when you cross a lion with a parrot?
I don't know, but when it talks, you better listen.
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
What do you say when you catch a bee?
Behold!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
What do you call a giraffe winning a horse race?
A long shot.
Why don't squirrels wear skinny jeans?
Because their nuts won't fit.
Q: What does a tiger call an antelope?
A: Fast food.
Did you hear about the two silkworms that were in a race? They wound up in a tie.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
Have you seen the new movie with the Dachshund?
Apparently it’s an Oscar Weiner.
Why does the dolphin kingdom never go to war?
Because it would defeat the porpoise.
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
Have you heard about the new book all about flamingos? Apparently it’s flying off the shelves.
Which birds go to church a lot?
Birds of pray.
What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk?
Dirty looks from the mouse!
Why did the dolphin blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
What is it called when a dinosaur hits a homerun?
A Dino-Score.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Ears.
Ears who?
Ears one more beaver joke for you.
What do get if you cross a duck and Santa?
A Christmas Quacker.
What do you call a snake that is 3.14 meters long?
A pi-thon.
I'm going to start a business selling worms and Nintendo consoles
I'll call it "Bait and Switch."
What's gray and furry on the inside and white on the outside? A mouse sandwich!
Who’s a llama’s favorite actor?
Al Pacacino.
What do you call a spiders child?
An arach-kid.
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
Sorry seems to be the hardest word to say...
Unless you're Chinese. Then it's 'squirrel'.
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth?
Hard cheese!
What do you call a truck-load of tortoises crashing into a train-load of terrapins?
A turtle disaster.
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
What do seals do when they need medical attention?
Sea kelp.
What did the pastry cook say when he was making the cake?
Bat-a-cake. Bat-a-cake.
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
What do you call a mouse with no balls?
Optical.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
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