What is a snake’s favorite subject in school?
Hisstory.
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
The good pony apologized to the tiger at the zoo for his sore throat, he said: "I am sorry, I am a little horse."
Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.
Whale, whale, whale …
If it isn’t a pod.
What did the irritated crow said to his fried?
I won't talk to you if you don’t stop ravening.
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
What do you call an American Bee?
A USB.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bell?
An alarm cluck.
Why did the tiger eat the tightrope walker?
It wanted a balanced diet.
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
What do you get if you cross a lobster with a telephone?
A snappy talk.
What did the drug diller say to the duck?
Are you on quack?
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
What do you call a fly with no Wings?
A walk.
What's gray and furry on the inside and white on the outside? A mouse sandwich!
Why was the little bee sent to bed without supper?
Because he wouldn't beehive.
Psychologist: What brings you here today?
Squirrel: I realized I am what I eat….. Nuts.
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
Why did the dinosaur paint her toenails red? So she could hide in the strawberry patch!
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
Police are investigating a string of homicides which have occurred over the last two weeks. The victims have identified as Cap'n Crunch, Toucan Sam, Tony the Tiger, and the latest victim, Lucky the Leprechaun.
They are looking for a cereal killer.
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ? Find somewhere else to sleep!
Where do koalas go to settle legal matters? A kangaroo court!
What do koalas do when they see social injustice happening in the world? They fight for ekoalaty!
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
How do you catch a squirrel who's interested in ornithology?
Climb a tree and act like a nuthatch.
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
What do you call a super articulate dinosaur?
A Thesaurus.
What do you call a group of politically similar crows?
A cawcus
What does Willow Smith say to her pets? I whip my hare back and forth.
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
What did the eye witness say about the camel who was using the bushes as a lavatory?
I saw the hump take a dump in a clump
My dog loves designer hand-bags.
So I got him a Poochi.
Why did the duck detective get the key to the city?
Because he quacked the case.
"Dad, what's it called if I like both boys and girls," the buffalo said.
"I believe would be a bi-son," his father replied.
I tried riding a camel instead of a horse once.
It had its ups and downs.
What did the pastry cook say when he was making the cake?
Bat-a-cake. Bat-a-cake.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What do you call a stoned, dyslexic crow?
A hybrid
What did the duck eat for snack?
Salted Quackers.
When is a car like a frog?
When it's being toad.
Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag? They can lighten your load.
What do you have to know to teach a bat tricks?
More than a bat.
How do you invite a dinosaur for lunch?
Tea, Rex?
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