What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
Why are flamingos the happiest birds? They live with no reggrets.
What do you call a shrimp hit by a car?
Road krill.
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
When he was chewing the skeleton, the wolf got to a point and laughed. I guess that was the funny bone.
Why did the giraffe graduate early?
He was head and shoulders above the rest of the class.
My wife and I have been having trouble communicating. We decided to take a walk when we passed a farm. She said "awww, babe look at the sheep."
"No, ewe." I said.
What did the sushi say to the bee?
"Wasabee?"
It’s easy to spot a sad flamingo. They get really blue.
What do you call an and with frogs legs?
An antphibian.
How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?
Squeaky clean!
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
What do you get when you sit under a cow?
A pat on the head.
What is the similarity between a male deer and a beaver? Both have buck teeth.
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
I told my husband that the National Zoo's sloth bear gave birth but ate two of the three babies. He said "now she's guilty of 2 deadly sins: sloth and gluttony."
What is the camels’ favorite nursery rhyme?
Humpty dumpty.
Why do snakes always measure in inches?
Because they don’t have any feet.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
What do you call a mouse that doesn't eat, drink, or even walk? A computer mouse.
What do you call a parrot that won’t eat?
A Polly-no-meal.
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t eat, drink, or even walk?
A computer mouse.
What does a deer call a hunter?
“Doe foes.”
Zebras aren’t fans of colouring books. They don’t like having to stay between the lions.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
When buying crows for commercial use, always buy them in groups...
That way, you’re guaranteed to make a killing.
I saw a guy trying to cross a really busy street. Trying to be helpful, I said, “You know, there is a zebra crossing 50ft ahead.”
He said, “I hope he’s having a better luck than I am.”
I bought my rabbit a fancy new hutch. But he doesn’t seem to carrot all.
What is small, furry and brilliant at sword fights?
A mouseketeer!
What is a seals favorite subject?
Art Art Art Art!
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
What did the married deer couple say to each other? I love you deer-ly!
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a crocodile.
A funeral.
Did you hear about the guy who killed a group of catholic crows?
It was Mass murder
How do you offer a camel tea?
"One hump or two?"
A week after the werewolf swallowed the farmer’s clock, it had ticks all over.
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
Dad Bee left. Mama Bee calls out ...
Honeycomb home!
Why doesn’t an owl study for a test?
They prefer to wing it.
I hate getting into arguments with farmers about the best methods for keeping crows away.
They always resort to straw man arguments.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.
I felt so guilty after I stepped on a snail this morning. You should of seen him, he looked genuinely crushed.
What is a pink bird's favorite kind of dance? Flamenco.
What does Willow Smith say to her pets? I whip my hare back and forth.
The truck load of tortoise that crushed caused a turtle disaster.
I thought Lord Of The Flies was about entomology.
It really bugs me that it isn't.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
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