The pun class we attended totally tortoise nothing.
Why did the dolphin blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
What did the llama get when he graduated school?
A dipllama.
What do you call a well-dressed ant?
Eleg-ant.
What’s the sequel to that?
Fuller mouse!
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
Before the Koalaville basketball team can play for the national championship, they have to make it through the koalafying rounds.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Beavers enjoy being in the company of a river because they go with the flow.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
I painted my dog’s nails So he can look paw-ty.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What holiday do bats love best?
St. Bat-rich’s Day.
What is a three toed sloth's favorite kind of chip?
Fritos.
What does the father deer say to the mother deer to show his love?
“I love you deerly!”
What cheesy dip do deer love to eat?
Fawn-due.
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs!
Why can’t you breed a eel with and eagle?
It’s Eeleagle.
I felt so guilty after I stepped on that worm this morning. You should have seen it, it looked genuinely crushed.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
What kind of helmet does a hermit crab wear?
A shell-met!
A tiger lost a storytelling competition recently as he has only got one tail.
Q. Where can you view sculptures and paintings created by deer?
A. At the art moose-seum.
Would you mind watching my pet parrot while I’m out, as long as it’s not too much of a birden?
Where do dolphin races end?
Dolphinish line!
How do bats tell their future?
They read their horrors-cope.
What does a panda use to cook his pancakes?
A pan duhhhh!
My sister asked me for some spider puns.
I told her to look them up on the web.
Why do you never see koalas wearing shoes? Because they love going bearfoot.
Where was the dinosaur when the sun went down ? In the dark!
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What did the deer say after prancing around a cloning machine for an hour?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
What do you call a spiders child?
An arach-kid.
What do you call a bunny who was raised in a hotel? An inn-grown hare.
When the wolf stood on the grape, the latter said nothing but let out a little bit of a wine.
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
An electrocuted turtle feels shell-shocked.
What is a frog's favorite time?
Leap year.
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
What does a giant Tyrannosaurus eat? Anything she wants!
How can you tell which end of a worm is which? Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs.
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
What do you say when you meet a two-headed dinosaur? Hello, hello!
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
He wanted to get to the other slide.
What do you say when you catch a bee?
Behold!
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