What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
What’s a dolphin’s favorite constellation?
The Big Dipper!
What was the worm doing in the cornfield?
He was going in one ear and out the other!
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
What do teenage deer do at slumber parties?
Truth or deer.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again?
A dirty double-crossing chicken.
What did they Turkey say to the blade of grass? Nice knawing you!
How do llamas say “Merry Christmas” in Spanish?
Fleece Navidad.
I was talking to a barn owl last night, when I mentioned that I'd just got engaged.
He said, "You twit! To who?"
What is a medieval owl called?
A knight owl.
Crows organized a cawnfrences, to discuss the upcoming project.
What is an owl’s favorite Beatles’ song?
Owl you need is love.
I'm giving away a free legless parrot.
No perches necessary.
What do you call an important English snake?
Sir Pent.
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
What's a frog's favorite game?
Hop-scotch (or leapfrog).
Where do owls go on their honeymoon?
Their love nest.
Why did the koala bear eat so much eucalyptus? He simply couldn’t leaf it alone.
Why don't crabs give birthday presents?
Because they're just shellfish.
What is a koala bear’s favorite mixed drink? A pina koala.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
Beavers enjoy being in the company of a river because they go with the flow.
Where does a dinosaur lay in the sun? At the dino-shore
I used to know two birds who excelled in ballet...
They were two toucans.
My pet crocodile needs help
Can I give him gatorade or does it only work for alligators?
What do you can an ant scientist?
Albert Antstein.
What do you call a dinosaur who is elected to Congress? Rep. Tile!
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
I have a flamingo friend who has a fantastic imagination, but they are always indulging in flights of fancy.
What's the difference between Cloepatra and King Arthur?
One had Camelot and one had a lot of camels.
The inventor of mosquito repellent likely did not know where to begin...
I guess he would have to start from scratch.
Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?
Attila the Hen.
What do mountain climbers share around the campfire?
Goat Stories!
What did the bat complain about?
Flying with such frequency was exhausting.
What do you get when you cross a lion with a parrot?
I don't know, but when it talks, you better listen.
People always talk about the 'Eye Of The Tiger'. No one talks about the other four letters.
What happened when they planted new bamboo trees at the zoo?
It was pandamonium out there!
What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
Did you hear about the bird that couldn’t pass environmental legislation?
He was a lame duck.
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
Did you hear that the singer Seal left a night club event because of the revellers sharing derogatory poems about him?
He was dissed by the prose at a rave.
What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer? Mice cubes!
My sheep-powered computer was starting to run slowly
So I added more ram
What country has the most birds?
Turkey.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
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