How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
Some see a puddle of mosquito larva.
I see a pool of enbitenment.
Why did the squirrel take apart the classic car?
To get down to the nuts and bolts.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
What did the deer say after she saw her Amazon bill?
“I spent too much doe!”
What is an owl who has been caught called?
A spotted owl.
A zoo owner introduced his tiger to the visitors by saying "this is the most paw-some tiger at the zoo".
My wife asked why I prefer gummy bears to gummy worms.
I said that gummy worms are beneath me.
The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
Never take a flamingo to the local swimming baths. They really don’t like claw-rine.
What does the father deer say to the mother deer to show his love?
“I love you deerly!”
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
Is chicken soup good for your health?
Not if you’re the chicken.
What do you get if you cross a lobster with a telephone?
A snappy talk.
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
My dog loves designer hand-bags.
So I got him a Poochi.
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
Where do dinosaurs get their mail ? At the dead-letter office!
Rabbits are trying to eat away my old Toyota!
Mechanic said it could be car rot.
My friend uses a white crow to protect his farm from other crows
He calls it a rarecrow
Evolution is so strange. Dolphins started off as sea creatures, then evolved to have legs, only to eventually return to the sea and lose them.
Kinda defeets the porpoise, don't you think?
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
What makes more noise than a dog barking outside your window?
Two dogs barking outside your window.
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.
Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
My pet owl will soon turn 180.
He's not old, he just has a bad neck.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
What do you call an ant that moves to another country?
An emigr-ant.
Why are crows so interesting?
Just beCAWse
A beaver's experience in college deep-ends on if they go to the best university.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
Why did the bank have the squirrel arrested?
He was foraging checks.
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
What did the seal with a broken arm say to the shark?
"Do not consume if seal is broken."
What did the maggot say to another?
What's a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this?
I just saw a huge killer fish singing and playing guitar in the city center.
I think it must be a busking shark.
Why did the chimpanzee cross the road?
Because he had to take care of some monkey business.
What do you call a shrimp hit by a car?
Road krill.
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
Why did the beaver refuse to laugh at any of the twig's jokes? He is not a big fan of dry humor.
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