What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
When a girl saw a sad alligator at the zoo she asked him; hey are you cai-man?
Our local winery recently starting using a flock of sheep to keep the grass from getting too long.
At least that's what I herd through the grapevine.
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
An animal that talks your head off.
What is the favorite bread of a crow? Crow-issant.
What do you get if you stand between two llamas?
Llamanated.
What do bees chew?
Bubmble gum.
Today I learned that a giraffe’s neck is so strong a human can climb up it.
Also, I got banned from my local zoo.
Why did the panda’s joke suck?
It was unbearable.
At What Time Does A Duck Wake Up?
At the quack of dawn.
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat? A dirty kid.
What’s a goat’s favorite musical?
Joseph and his Amazing Technicolor Dream Goat.
What kind of money does deer use?
“Bucks!”
Why was the crow so angry after his stand up comedy gig? The venue paid him in coffee instead of caw fee.
What did the snail say as he slipped down the wall? How slime flies!
How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams? They lived hoppily ever after.
Have you ever heard of the Crows Law Of Energy Conservation?
It's also known as the Law of Caws and Effect.
Did you hear the gossip about the owl who hooked up with his boss?
I won’t tell you hoo.
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with a kangaroo?
An animal that keeps its nuts in its pockets.
Why did the blind seal get eaten by the orca?
Because he couldn’t see that whale.
Flamingos do annoy each other sometimes. Apparently this is because they enjoy ruffling feathers.
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What do you get if you cross a new born snake with a basketball?
A bouncing baby boa.
What do you call a giraffe winning a horse race?
A long shot.
Some pink birds can be really rude. I approached a group of them the other day and they screamed “Flamingo away!”
What do you call a group of politically similar crows?
A cawcus
What do you call an irate kangaroo?
A k-angry-oo.
What do polite whales always say?
You’re whale-come.
What side does the zebra have the most stripes on?
The outside.
Dad Bee left. Mama Bee calls out ...
Honeycomb home!
How can you tell the difference between an English and French crow?
"PourCUAWWW! PourCUAWWW!"
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
A bear covered in a bunch of crows gives the picture of a grizzly murder.
How do clams call their friends?
Clams call their friends on their shell phones!
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
What do you get when you cross ants with ticks?
All sorts of antics.
What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo? Bronco-saurus or a Tyrannasourus Tex
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
What do you call a bunny who was raised in a hotel? An inn-grown hare.
I ordered chicken fingers tossed in Buffalo sauce the other day
I asked the chef to be gentle while tossing them though. Because they’re tenders.
The wolf crossed the road because it was chasing the chicken.
Where do most koala movie stars live? In Koalawood, Koalafornia, of course!
I had a bet on a giraffe race yesterday but my selection lost.
It was nowhere near winning – it lost by a neck.
How does a koala get from one place to another? On a gondkoala.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
Why did the rabbit like the adventure? It was a “hare-raising tail.”
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
How do you make a rabbit float? Put soda, syrup, and milk into a glass. Add one rabbit.
Go to BabaMail
