What’s green and hangs from trees?
Giraffe snot.
Q. How do does and fawns fly from place to place?
A. In a deer-igible
What do you call a camel that looks the same from both directions?
A palindromedary!
What do you call a Koala that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
What do you get if you cross a new born snake with a basketball?
A bouncing baby boa.
What kind of gang violence is common among owls?
A drive by hooting.
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
Why do dinosaurs eat raw meat? Because they don't know how to cook.
Why do owl babies take after their dad?
Like feather, like son.
What is the funniest fish in the sea?
A clownfish.
Q. How do you describe the inate behavior of a new mother deer?
A. Doe-ting
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
What type of dog does Dracula have?
A bloodhound.
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles!
What do you call a snake with no clothes on?
Snaked.
How can you tell which rabbits are getting old? Look for the grey hares.
I have no idea how to raise chickens.
I think I’ll just wing it.
What do you call a three-eyed tiger?
A tiiiger.
How do you get a one-armed monkey out of a tree?
Wave to it.
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
What is a worm's favorite band? Mud.
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
For goat’s sake, that’s enough.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
There is nothing impaws-sible if you’re as brave as a tiger!
What does a snail wear to go dancing?? Escargogo boots.
Why are dinosaurs no longer around? Because their eggs stink.
How do whales make a decision?
They flipper coin.
People in Iran are scared of spiders
But in Iraq, no phobia.
The wolf crossed the road because it was chasing the chicken.
Who makes dinosaur clothes? dino-sewer.
What does an alligator do when he loses his tail?
It goes to a re-tail store.
The turkey says, "gobble, gobble."
I appreciate it when food comes with instructions.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
What do stylish frogs wear?
Jumpsuits.
In what type of weather is the vet the busiest?
When its raining cats and dogs.
What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
When doing laundry, the mother wolf accidentally fell into the washing machine. It became a wash and wearwolf.
What is the most effective way to cook a crocodile?
In a croc pot.
What do you call a snake that builds things?
A boa constructor.
What sits in a tree and says "Hoots mon, hoots mon?"
A Scottish owl.
What do you call a goat that lip-syncs?
Billy Vanilli.
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
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