Why can't you hear a pterodactyl using the bathroom? Because the 'p' is silent
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
You have goat to be kidding me.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
Q. Where can you view sculptures and paintings created by deer?
A. At the art moose-seum.
Where does a Tyrannosaurus sit when he comes to stay? Anywhere he wants to.
What did the Easter bunny say about the Easter parade?It was eggs-cellent.
Was the koala able to complete the grueling 26-mile marathon? Bearly.
What did the beaver say to the river? You can run but can't tide.
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
How does a dolphin do cocaine?
With its blow hole.
What do you call a dinosaurs fart? "A blast from the past"
The wolf crossed the road because it was chasing the chicken.
What did the woodworm say to the chair?
It's been nice gnawing you.
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
What did the carrot say to the rabbit? Do you want to grab a bite?
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
What do you call a fly with no Wings?
A walk.
The flock of crows that were sprayed with sewage was a true definition of murder most foul.
Why was the Pirate sad when his parrot left him?.
It gave him the cold shoulder.
What did the bat do when she did not know the answer in class?
She winged it.
Why was the conservative buffalo disappointed in his child?
He was a bison.
Wolves love taking woofles for breakfast, they are sweet and amazing.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
What did the librarian say to the beaver who wanted to read a help book? You can try by-rowing it.
What's the difference between and Buffalo and a Bison?
You can't wash your face in a Buffalo.
What do a crab, a lobster, and a Japanese guy run over in the middle of the road all have in common?
They're all Crushed-Asians!
What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes? Rep Tiles
Sheep jokes are bad.
Really baaaaaaa-d.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
Where do owls go on their honeymoon?
Their love nest.
What do you call a Stegosaurus with carrots in its ears? Anything you want, it can't hear you!
What's invisible and smells like worms?
Bird farts.
Where do the monkeys get their gossip?
They hear it on the ape vine.
What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global Worming.
What type of food do worms like?
Your Halloween Candy!
Can one tropical bird change a lightbulb?
No, but toucan.
Does Mr. Otterton listen to Gazelle? Yes he's a rabid fan.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
Looking after more than one elephant at a time requires the ability to multi-tusk.
Where do bad beavers go?
They're dammed to hell.
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
What did the monkey say when he cut off his tail?
It won’t be long now.
What does a chocolate crow say? “Cacao!”
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