What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
What do you drive in a river? An otter-mobile.
What’s black and white with red spots?
A panda with the measles.
Ever heard of Cawsmopolitan? It is one of the best magazines for crows.
Why did the bunny bang his head on the piano? He was playing by ear!
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
What does a deer call a hunter?
“Doe foes.”
How will a crow with a cold fever sound like? Caw-ph, Caw-ph.
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
What did the bat say when she was invited to dinner?
No, fangs. I just ate.
Why did the owl join Tinder?
He didn’t want to be owl by himself.
There’s a lot of debate over where the best place to punch a shark is.
Personally, I think it’s the sea.
What do get if you cross a duck and Santa?
A Christmas Quacker.
A group of crows drooling over a pastry is called a-tempted murder.
What do you call a dinosaur that eats it's vegetables? A.brocileasoarus
An otter and an otter are in a car, who's driving? Animal Control
What do you get if you cross a mouse with a Triceratops? Enormous holes in the base boards.
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
What's a sheep's favorite art style?
Baa's Relief
I'm going to combine my interests of taxidermy and bomb making
by making you an otter you can't defuse.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
What happens when a Mexican gets to the worm? He passes out.
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
What's better than a talking dinosaur ? A spelling bee. What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? Try-Try-Try-ceratops.
Why don’t crabs donate to charity?
Because they’re shellfish
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
What kind of car does a mouse drive?
A mini van.
Where do squirrels go when they have a nervous breakdown?
To the nut-house.
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
What do you call an owl with a deep voice?
A growl.
Which dinosaurs were the best policemen? Tricera-cops.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
Why did the cranberries turn red?
They saw the turkey dressing!
What is a pink bird's favorite dance? Flamin-tango.
What kind of helmet does a hermit crab wear?
A shell-met!
What did the llama say to the grass?
“Nice gnawing you!”
What’s a goat’s favorite TV show?
America’s Goat Talent.
How do mice celebrate when they move home? With a mouse warming party!
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
What do you call a blind dinosaur? adoyouthinkhesaurus.
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with a kangaroo?
An animal that keeps its nuts in its pockets.
A tiger lost a storytelling competition recently as he has only got one tail.
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