How did the hammerhead do on his test?
He nailed it.
What is a bunch of crows gathering money called? Crow funding.
Why do seals swim in salt water ?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
Why couldn't the squirrel eat the macadamia nut?
It was one tough nut to crack.
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
What's the best way to stuff a turkey? Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!
What do you call a super articulate dinosaur?
A Thesaurus.
How do clams call their friends?
Clams call their friends on their shell phones!
What happened if vampires came to a big dance?
A bat ball.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
A saber tooth tiger would never blow anything up.
But a dino might.
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
Alligators can live up to 100 years…
Which is why there’s a chance that they will see you later.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
Do you know why the beaver was found guilty?
Because the prosecutor had damming evidence.
A beaver goes into a bar and sees a man standing behind the bar and asks him...
"Excuse me sir. Is the bar tender here?"
How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? Down in the mouth.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
Once I told a joke about mosquitos...
It was malarious.
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
Did you hear about the rabbit who refused to leave her house? She was having a bad hare day.
Did you hear about the woman who complained about her rabbit stew? She said there was a hare in her soup.
Why did Jesus ask Judas to crave the turkey?
Beause he knows he likes stabbing others in the back.
What does an alligator do when he loses his tail?
It goes to a re-tail store.
What do you call a thirsty bee?
Beehydrated
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with a kangaroo?
An animal that keeps its nuts in its pockets.
What Do You Call A Cat That Swallows A Duck?
A duck-filled-fatty-pus
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
We were all sturtled by the incoming news.
What do you get when your cross a bear and a tiger?
A bear and a tiger seeking revenge.
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
What do you call an alligator who is wearing crocs on his feet?
A traitor.
What do llamas say when you tell them something obvious?
“No spit, Sherlock.”
What do you call it when a dinosaur gets in a car accident? Tyrannasaurus wreck!
Why was the koala scientist so well-respected by his peers? He was known for conducting excellent koalatative research.
What is a grandma sheep called?
A baaaa-nana
How tall is a spider?
Eight foot.
How do bats line up in school?
In alpha-bat-ical order.
What does a beaver from Philly drink?
Wooder.
What do your call a dinosaur with one eye? Eye-saur.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
What do you call a koala with no teeth? A gummy bear.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
What does a tiger say to his friends before eating a meal? "Let us prey!"
Where do bats keep their money?
The blood bank.
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