The beavers avoid going deep-diving now. They saw one beaver hitting rock bottom.
To whom did the squirrel go to seek out his fortune.
Nutradamus.
How do you know when a crab's drunk?
When it starts walking straight
I'm giving away my legless parrot, no perches necessary!
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all watching a dolphin do some excellent tricks.
The dolphin notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he jumps higher out of the water and calls out, 'Can you all see me now?' And they respond: 'Yes.' 'Oui.' 'Sí.' 'Ja.'
For waterproofing their nests, crows buy caw-king.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
Why did the cat want to learn to fly?
She wanted to try bats.
Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail and it will be de-lighted.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bell?
An alarm cluck.
What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey?
A Kick-Ass
The favourite day of the week for wolves is moonday.
What do you get if you cross a frog with a ferry?
A hoppercraft.
What do you call an alligator who is wearing crocs on his feet?
A traitor.
Why are houseflies great at arithmetics? Because they multiply really fast.
What does an owl need after having a bath?
A t-owl.
All prominent werewolf movies are produced in howl-lywood.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
What did the goat farmer’s wife say to her husband when he was swearing on the job?
“Not in front of the kids!”
What did the fish say to the other fish? Pucker-fish!
What did the baby rabbit say before his favorite holiday? I carrot wait for the Easter Bunny to visit.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
What does a koala do before making any kind of appointment? He always checks his koalander.
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks: “Is this stool taken?”
I saw a sheep covered in plastic
It was lambinated.
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
How do whales make a decision?
They flipper coin.
Why did the elephant ask to borrow a suitcase?
Because he only had a little trunk.
What did the deer say when she met her favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn of your movies!”
What will you get if you cross an ice bear and a running tiger? Frostbite.
What did the duck who learned physics say?
Quark, quark.
What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
What do you call a dinosaur that eats it's vegetables? A.brocileasoarus
What did the deer say to his friend during their night in the woods?
This is so much fawn!
Just a buffalo laying down, bisoness as usual.
What cheesy dip do deer love to eat?
Fawn-due.
Where does a turtle go when it's raining?
A shell-ter.
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
What do you call an otter with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
What do whales like to chew?
Blubber gum.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
What martial art do monkeys practice?
Flung Poo.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
I tried to phone the spiritual leader of Tibet once, but I was sent a big goat with a long neck instead.
I must have phoned Dial-a-Llama by mistake.
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
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