How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
Did you hear what happened to the Energizer Bunny? He got arrested for Battery.
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
Why was the mouse afraid of the water?
Catfish.
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
What’s black and white and red all over?
A sunburned panda.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
What do rodents say when they play bingo? 'Eyes down for a full mouse'!
Why did the sloth get fired from his job? He would only do the BEAR minimum.
Why is it so difficult to sell a toy zebra.
You can never find the barcode.
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
What type of food do worms like?
Your Halloween Candy!
Elephants will toil all day, and they work for peanuts.
What do you call a mouse who can pick up a horse? Sir!
What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
A crow’s favorite nutty dessert is Pecawn Pie.
Did you hear that the singer Seal left a night club event because of the revellers sharing derogatory poems about him?
He was dissed by the prose at a rave.
Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
Because talk is cheep.
What do you call a lobster with a Christmas hat?
Santa Claws
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
The baby beaver sang a song about the river in a video for his friends. He had a good flow.
What do you call a famous turtle?
A shell-ebrity.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
An army of werewolves is known as a Fur-eign Legion.
What’s the definition of butter?
An angry goat.
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
I've just thought of a really funny owl joke, but I can't use it until 2/8/20.
Large, pink birds are a good asset to a football team. They’re very used to playing flamingoalie.
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
What did the squirrel say to its baby before it had to leave?
I'm gonna go out on a limb here.
I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks.
I better watch my ass.
What does a chocolate crow say? “Cacao!”
Each year, lots of wolves go treating in howl-o-ween.
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
Why are dinosaurs no longer around? Because their eggs stink.
How do you spot a deer behind you? With hind-sight!
I hate worms and snakes because they have no feet.
You might say that I am lacktoes intolerant.
What is a giraffe’s favorite fruit?
Necktarines.
When does a turkey go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
What is the proper name for the ghost of a buffalo?
A booffalo.
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
Waiter, waiter, do you have frog legs?
No, I always walk this way.
How do you catch a Polynesian squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a coconut.
Two goats are married, living on a farm. Billy Goat says, "I really want children. Let's make some babies."
Betty Goat responds, "Heck no. No baby goats for me..."
"I'm not kidding."
Flaked tuna is a great product for both campers, and dolphins
It's truly useful for all in tents, and porpoises.
How do tigers like their cheese?
Grrrrreated
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had the drumsticks
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