What did the dolphin say when it broke its neighbor’s window?
It wasn’t on porpoise!
Why was the actress scared of the deer?
She had stag fright.
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
The farmer cried wolf when all his three pigs were mauled by the jungle wolf.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
What is a three toed sloth's favorite kind of chip?
Fritos.
What do dolphins need to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea!
Have you heard the joke about the giraffe’s neck?
Let me warn you, it’s a long one.
I can’t decide how to finish this wooden sign telling my parrot that she’s become a member of the Scottish aristocracy
Polyurethane?
How do lions greet people?
"Pleased to eat you!"
Which color is a zebra's base color? The debate is endless, and there is no clear answer.
It both is and isn't a black-and-white issue.
What do you call a food stamp inside of a burrito? An otter fortune cookie
What do you get when you cross a frog with a rabbit?
A bunny ribbit.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
As soon as one beaver jumped in the river to search for his key, it got shocked, as the current was too strong.
What do you call a tiger who always gets the same grades as one other person? A tie-ger.
Why did the Apatosaurus devour the factory? Because she was a plant eater!
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?
A bah-humbug.
Who is a snake’s favorite actor?
Humphrey Boa-gart.
There’s a lot of debate over where the best place to punch a shark is.
Personally, I think it’s the sea.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
Why did the owl join Tinder?
He didn’t want to be owl by himself.
You cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo and you end up with a turtle
neck jumper.
Why did the duck detective get the key to the city?
Because he quacked the case.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
Beavers enjoy being in the company of a river because they go with the flow.
How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck.
Why are tigers said to be religious? Because they frequently prey with all their family members.
What will you get if you cross a tiger and a watchdog? A terrified watchman.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
What’s a llama’s favorite song?
Llama Chameleon.
In order to be efficient, I named my parrots Roger, Gene, and Mick.
Two Byrds, one Stone.
A beaver told a joke about a waterfall. It was a pour joke.
Why does a duck say quack?
Because it can’t say moo.
What is a deer’s favorite after-school snack?
“Doe-nuts.”
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
I wondered why flamingos were so strong, so I did a little research. Turns out they do a lot of eggs-er-cise.
Ravens fans are so tough....they hang out in crowbars.
Why did the owl invite his friends over?
He didn't want to be owl by himself.
When you come across a lost wolf, the first greeting should be, “how are you where-wolf”.
What do you call an ant who can’t speak?
A mute ant.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
Q. Will a sensible stag do something dangerous to impress a doe?
A. No, not even on a deer.
Where did Velociraptor buy things? At a dino-store!
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