Why are parrots so good at imitations? They love parrot-y! (parody)
Because they got turtle recall, turtles never forget.
What's worse than lobsters on your piano?
Crabs on your organ!
What side of a tiger has the most stripes? The outside.
What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?
A bah-humbug.
How do you save a drowning otter? Take your foot of its head
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
My wife: Oh look, here's instructions on building a carpenter bee trap.
Me: Shouldn't they be able to do that themselves?
A gang of ravens scared off individual crows and cornered them together. Well, you can say that a conspiracy of ravens preplanned a murder of crows.
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
What did Homer Simpson say when he saw a female deer?
“Doe!”
What Do You Call A Duck That Steals?
A robber ducky.
Did you hear about the birds of prey who opened up a resort?
It was for owl seasons.
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
Where do you find giant snails? At the end of giants fingers!
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
To whom did the squirrel go to seek out his fortune.
Nutradamus.
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
What do you call a bat with the flu?
An airborne disease.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
What did the bat say when she was invited to dinner?
No, fangs. I just ate.
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
We’ll need protracturtle in our next lesson since the topic will be angles.
What do you call a mouse with no balls?
Optical.
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
Where do llamas go on vacation?
Alpacapuco.
What do bees chew?
Bubmble gum.
What do dinosaurs have that no other animals have? Baby Dinosaurs.
What was the snail doing on the highway? About one mile a day!
That alligator took great photos, he was a bit of a snapper.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
Turtles that commit crime are sent to the shell-block.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
What do you call a blind dinosaur? adoyouthinkhesaurus.
Why did the deer go for a run?
To doe off some steam.
What did the deer say after prancing around a cloning machine for an hour?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
Why did the bee get married?
She found her honey.
What happened when Turbo lost his shell? He began to feel sluggish.
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A lickalotopis
Which bird is the most contented? The crow, because he never complains without caws.
What type of dog can use a phone?
A dial-matian.
What kind of car does a sheep drive?
A LAMBorghini
Which side of a duck has the most feathers?
The outside.
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
What do you do if you find a blue Ichthyosaur ? Cheer him up!
What did the dolphin do to the woman who was rude to it?
Flipper off!
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