How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
Who’s a llama’s favorite composer?
Wolfgang Llamadeus Mozart.
What did you call the cat next door 10,000 years ago?
A neighbor-toothed tiger.
Q. Which square dancing step do stags enjoy most?
A. The Doe-si-Does.
The next round the wolf showed up at the butchery, he was arrested. This is because he was being tracked by the police for chop lifting.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
My dog is very poor.
He can’t afford a “woof” over his head.
I like you, you croc my world.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
Who in the hell names their son “Tiger” ?
Only people in the Woods’
What do mountain climbers share around the campfire?
Goat Stories!
Have you noticed that most wolf parties begin at around midnight? Well, it is not by coincidence, it is so that they can have a howling good time.
Why couldn't the housefly board the plane?
It was on the no fly list
Zebras aren’t fans of colouring books. They don’t like having to stay between the lions.
What do you call a really happy ant?
Exuber-ant.
Two male zebras in the Zoo started making rap-music.
They're called the Zbruhs.
Why did the guy kill the fly?
It was bugging him.
How do you know if there is a Brachiosaurus in bed with you? By the dinosnores.
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus? Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving.
I caught a fruit fly in the air and killed it.
I'm a gnatural born killer.
Q: How does a tiger move a boat?
A: He uses roars.
How do mice celebrate when they move home? With a mouse warming party!
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
How do crabs evade taxes?
They set up shell corporations.
How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the “G”!
What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
What does the mummy parrot say to her baby? Beak-areful!
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles!
I got an email today saying I could win $10,000 in a fishing competition.
But I'm sure there's a catch involved somewhere.
I was talking to a barn owl last night, when I mentioned that I'd just got engaged.
He said, "You twit! To who?"
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Hot Dam!
What did the irritated crow said to his fried?
I won't talk to you if you don’t stop ravening.
Their engagement is yet to be made offishell.
My friend uses a white crow to protect his farm from other crows
He calls it a rarecrow
I told my parents I wanted to raise goats for a living, but I was only kidding.
Did you hear about the two silkworms that were in a race? They wound up in a tie.
What do you get if you cross a wasp with a doorbell?
A hum-dinger!
Q: Which U.S. state do tigers like the most?
A: Maine.
Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
What’s big and grey and wears a mask?
The elephantom of the opera.
What do sloths make when it snows? Slow Angels.
If you need to share out your to-do list, just be a dele-gator.
What do you call writing a book about breeding bats to pull carriages? A wheely bat idea.
What do you call a Koala that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
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