Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
A tiger lost a storytelling competition recently as he has only got one tail.
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
Where do beavers go for a hair cut? To the bobber shop.
Why are parrots the life of the party? Every day is their bird-day!
Why did the deer cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
Why was the crow on the telephone wire? To make a long-distance caw.
The mossbacks could not connect with the new developments, so the bill was hot
down at the senate.
Q. What did the doe say to the louse on her new baby fawn?
A. Gosh deer nit!
Why can’t you trust snakes?
They speak with forked tongues.
What’s worse than one crocodile coming to dinner?
Two crocodiles coming to dinner.
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
Can one tropical bird change a lightbulb?
No, but toucan.
What do llamas call the end of the world?
Llamageddon.
A seal goes into a bar and the bartender asked him,"What will it be Mr seal?"
The seal responds,"anything but a Canadian Club".
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
Where does a dinosaur lay in the sun? At the dino-shore
Why can’t you breed a eel with and eagle?
It’s Eeleagle.
What do bees call wasps?
Wanna-bees.
What does the queen bee of every hive tell their workers to do?
She tells them to bee productive.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
What do you call a snake that is trying to become a bird?
A feather boa.
Q. How do does and fawns fly from place to place?
A. In a deer-igible
What do you call a poor ant?
A peas-ant.
What was the most flexible dinosaur? Tyrannosaurus Flex.
What do you call a lazy goat?
Billy Idle.
Why don't alligators like fast food?
Because it is difficult to catch.
What makes more noise than a dog barking outside your window?
Two dogs barking outside your window.
What does a deer do when it gets to its friend’s house?
Rings the deer bell.
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
What do you called a crow that cant find his way?
A lost caws
How do bats line up in school?
In alpha-bat-ical order.
What do you get when you cross a fawn with a bumblebee?
Bambee.
Why isn't the the koala a real bear? He doesn't have the right koalifications.
What does Harry Potter use when sealing packages?
His Parceltongue.
What do you call rabbits that live at the North Pole? Cold.
I was she-shocked when my pet turtle died.
I met this really beautiful crustacean, but I lobst her number.
What do dogs say when something cool happens?
Paw-some.
Flamingos do annoy each other sometimes. Apparently this is because they enjoy ruffling feathers.
Did you hear what happened to the Energizer Bunny? He got arrested for Battery.
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
Did you hear about the two silkworms that were in a race? They wound up in a tie.
What did the monkey say when he cut off his tail?
It won’t be long now.
I used to own a rabbit, but now he’s just some bunny that I used to know.
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
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