How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
What do vampire bats call their friends?
Blood brothers.
A tiger lost a storytelling competition recently as he has only got one tail.
Some people like to play croc-quet.
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
Why don’t elephants use computers?
Because they’re afraid of the mouse.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
Why did the lion cross the road? Because he saw a zebra-crossing...
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
What did the owl’s valentine say?
You are hootiful.
What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs bunny
A gang of ravens scared off individual crows and cornered them together. Well, you can say that a conspiracy of ravens preplanned a murder of crows.
What’s an orca’s favorite TV show?
Whale Of Fortune.
If flamingos can’t fly, how on earth do they get about? They use flamingo karts, of course.
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
I used to own a raven. It could speak English, but the only word it could speak was "car".
Someone told me that it takes 5 sheep to make a sweater.
I didn't know they could knit!
Why are bunnies always tired in April? Because they just finished a March.
What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food?
Snakes and Larders.
Did you know that you only need two letters to spell Panda?
You just need P and A.
Why did the giant ape climb up the side of the skyscraper?
Because the elevator was broken.
How does a dog stop a TV show?
He presses paws.
What is a deer’s favorite meal?
Deer-ner!
What did one glow worm said to the other one?
You glow girl!
What do you call an elephant that’s never clean?
A smelly-phant.
My sister asked me for some spider puns.
I told her to look them up on the web.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
The lobster is one shell of an animal.
Why did the cat want to learn to fly?
She wanted to try bats.
What Did The Duck Say When The Waitress Came?
Put it on my bill!
What does a beaver from Philly drink?
Wooder.
Why wasn’t the giraffe invited to the party?
He was a pain in the neck.
What do you call a koala with no teeth? A gummy bear.
What did the deer say to his friend when he suggested a trip to the park? Good i-deer!
The scare crow was out standing in his field, so he got awarded as the best employee of the year.
Why do owls always by mystery novels?
They love hoo-dunits.
The inventor of mosquito repellent likely did not know where to begin...
I guess he would have to start from scratch.
What kind of photos do turtles take?
Shell-fies.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
Who did the goats vote for as president?
Billy Clinton.
What's more amazing than a talking turkey? A spelling bee!
What do you call a turtle who takes up photography?
A snapping turtle.
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
Where do most koala movie stars live? In Koalawood, Koalafornia, of course!
What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? Try and try and try and try-ceratops
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