What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
Q. After the stripper is done, what happens at a stag party?
A. Deer-ty dancing.
What do you call a camel without humps?
Humphrey.
Whats in a camels favorite cup of tea?
Camelmile
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
Had beaver curry last night.
Bit like a normal curry, just a little otter.
Wolves love taking woofles for breakfast, they are sweet and amazing.
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
What type of dog can use a phone?
A dial-matian.
Why did the mouse stay inside?
Because it was raining cats and dogs.
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
Q. How do the doe and stag open the entry to their vacation cabin in the woods?
A. They just turn the deer knob.
I was talking to a barn owl last night, when I mentioned that I'd just got engaged.
He said, "You twit! To who?"
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
What do you call a well-dressed ant?
Eleg-ant.
Why do mice need oiling ?
Because they squeak !
Why was the beaver not arrested when he jumped into the Nile? Because he was a juve'nile.
What kind of fish will help you hear?
A herring aid!
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
What is a rabbit’s favorite dance? The bunny hop.
I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet?
Wait until he’s finished.
What game do bats like to play with birds?
Bat-mington.
Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?
Because he was always spotted.
What do you get when you cross an owl with an oyster?
Pearls of wisdom.
I've just thought of a really funny owl joke, but I can't use it until 2/8/20.
What did you call the cat next door 10,000 years ago?
A neighbor-toothed tiger.
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
What did the deer say to his friend when he suggested a trip to the park? Good i-deer!
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
A crow invited his buddies over to hang out but they didn’t show up.
He was charged with attempted murder.
I went to a mosquito themed restaurant.
It wasn't very good, though. After a few bites I got up and left.
Two snakes parted.
The first one said, “Fangs for the memories”.
My pet crocodile needs help
Can I give him gatorade or does it only work for alligators?
Where does a rottweiler sit in the cinema?
Anywhere it wants to.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
When buying crows for commercial use, always buy them in groups...
That way, you’re guaranteed to make a killing.
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
Where do rabbits learn how to fly? In the hare force!
Where do bad beavers go?
They're dammed to hell.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
Why are parrots so good at imitations? They love parrot-y! (parody)
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
Why do turtles never forget?
Because they have turtle recall.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
What do llamas call the end of the world?
Llamageddon.
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