What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
What do you call a parrot without feathers? Bald!
Why are crows so interesting?
Just beCAWse
A beaver goes into a bar and sees a man standing behind the bar and asks him...
"Excuse me sir. Is the bar tender here?"
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
How do you save a drowning otter? Take your foot of its head
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
The worst part about being a giraffe…
Is having a lot of time to think about your mistakes when you’re sinking into quicksand.
Why did the dog walk in to the saloon?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
What do you call an ant who joins the army?
Milit-ant.
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
What problem did the young bat experience?
The hangout.
Why did the dolphin end its own life?
It was missing a porpoise.
When you come across a lost wolf, the first greeting should be, “how are you where-wolf”.
Why don’t rabbits get hot in the summertime? They have hare conditioning!
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
What does a beaver from Philly drink?
Wooder.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school?
Hisstory.
There’s a new dish out; it’s a cross between a cake and a bird. They call it a Flan-ingo.
What do you call two crows flying together?
An attempted murder
What do you call a otter that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
The Beavers have the ugliest house in the neighborhood.
It’s a dam shame.
What happened when the koala house party got a little too far out of hand? One of the neighbors koalaed the cops.
What is a grandma sheep called?
A baaaa-nana
What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers?
Fang letters.
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
How does a bee get to school?
She takes a school buzz
Why don’t dogs bark at their feet?
It isn’t polite to talk back to your paw.
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
Why did the cat want to learn to fly?
She wanted to try bats.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Where do dolphin races end?
Dolphinish line!
What’s small, furry and slightly purple? A koala holding its breath!
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
What animal can go into a tiger’s den and came out alive?
The tiger.
I went to the Chinese buffet on crab leg night and ate my fill, but they kicked me out.
They said I was being too shellfish.
What do you need to know to teach a dinosaur tricks? More than the dinosaur.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
Why are bunnies always tired in April? Because they just finished a March.
Which city do hamsters live in?
Hamsterdam.
What’s another popular Christmas song that baby koalas like to sing? “Joey to the World”, of course!
What do you call a kangaroo in Africa?
Lost.
What do you do if a rabbit keeps pooping in your yard? Take him to a pellet court.
What did the goat farmer’s wife say to her husband when he was swearing on the job?
“Not in front of the kids!”
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
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