What kind of croc hangs out in back passages around town?
An Alley-gator.
What do you call a spiders child?
An arach-kid.
What do you give a sick snake?
Asp-rin.
Why are dinosaurs no longer around? Because their eggs stink.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
What do you call a goat on a mountain?
Hillbilly.
What's an albino crow called? A caw-casian.
What do you call an immature goat?
A silly billy.
A slow poke is what you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
How can you tell if a crab is drunk?
It walks straight
What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it? Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all.
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
What do bees chew?
Bubmble gum.
My pet owl will soon turn 180.
He's not old, he just has a bad neck.
What is a crows favorite vegetable?
Corn on the caawb.
I nearly kicked my dog out, but we renegotiated the terms of his leash.
What kind of aquatic animal thinks you did a good job?
The seal of approval.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
What’s the difference between a dog and a gator?
A dog’s bark is worse than its bite.
Why do dogs hate computers?
They can’t stick their heads out of those Windows.
How does a baby beetle get around?
In a buggy.
Q. Which game do hunters go after first?
A. The nearest and the deerest.
Q: Why did the tiger eat the lamp?
A: He wanted a light lunch.
What sits in a tree and says "Hoots mon, hoots mon?"
A Scottish owl.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
What did the seal say to the walrus after dating him for three months?
I think we should sea otter people.
How about the stylish female crocodile, she's every inch a frock-o-dile.
3 animals enter a bar. A lion, a tiger and a bear.
Oh my!
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.
What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat?
‘Here Kitty, kitty, kitty’!
How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins!
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with an elephant?
An animal that remembers where it hid its nuts.
Why do seals swim in salt water ?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
What is one of the big tiger's most favorite hangout places? A shopping maul.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
We did not understand what the mother turtle was saying because it was all in ridleys.
Why did the guy kill the fly?
It was bugging him.
How do bats greet a friend?
With a sound wave.
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
What do you call a secret group of llamas?
The i-llama-nati.
What did the ghost say to the bee
“BOOBEE”
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
Psychologist: What brings you here today?
Squirrel: I realized I am what I eat….. Nuts.
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