What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
Why did the Apatosaurus devour the factory? Because she was a plant eater!
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
What would you rather be, a polar bear or a little otter. A little (h)otter
What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus? Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving.
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
Q. What does a doe say When something very unexpected happens?
A. Oh, Deer God!
In what country is Thanksgiving ironically not celebrated? Turkey.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
Did you hear about the birds of prey on black Friday?
It was a free for owl.
Crows prefer carrion, so their bags are never checked at the airport.
Why do owls make such bad baseball players?
Their hits are always fowl.
What's yellow and black and yellow and black and yellow and black?
A wasp rolling down a hill.
Flight allows flamingos to stay safe from predators. This is natural selection in action, and explains why flaminstays are extinct.
I got in a fight with a crab yesterday.
When I punched him he ran, goon.
What did one fish say to the other?
If you keep your mouth closed you will not get caught.
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
What did the river ask the beaver? "Water you doing today?"
What kind of croc hangs out in back passages around town?
An Alley-gator.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
Is a goat that eats office supplies on a staple diet?
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Ears.
Ears who?
Ears one more beaver joke for you.
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
How do venomous snakes kill their prey?
In cold blood.
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
Whats green and can jump a mile a minute?
A frog with hiccups.
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elka Seltzer.
Why did the deer cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
Have you watched werewolves taking lunch, you will be amused, they literally wolf it down!
What do you get if you cross a mouse with a Triceratops? Enormous holes in the base boards.
What does a monkey wear while cooking?
An ape-ron.
What’s black and white and red all over?
A sunburned panda.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
Why did the sloth get fired from his job? He would only do the BEAR minimum.
Did you hear about the birds of prey who opened up a resort?
It was for owl seasons.
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
How do you hold a bat?
By the wings.
Flamingos are great at social events; they flamingle really well.
How does a turtle feel after being electrocuted?
Shell-shocked.
How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? it has a blue light.
Why don't crabs donate to charity?
They're shellfish penny pinchers.
Do You Know How Crabs Get Around On Land?
They Use The Sidewalk!
When alligators need energy, they just slug down some gator-ade.
What's gray and furry on the inside and white on the outside? A mouse sandwich!
Some pink birds can be really rude. I approached a group of them the other day and they screamed “Flamingo away!”
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