What do you call a blind dinosaur? adoyouthinkhesaurus.
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
A priest, a rabbit and a deacon walk into a blood bank.
"I think I might be a type o." said the rabbit.
Her: "Buffalo meat is delicious. What are they made of? Beef?"
Me: "No... They're made of buff."
What's a bee's favorite novel?
The Great Gats-Bee
What do you call a famous turtle?
A shell-ebrity.
I don't agree with battery hens.
Surely they'd lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains.
I saw a sheep covered in plastic
It was lambinated.
What do you call two worms in love?
Soilmates.
Where do frogs leave their hats and coats?
In the croakroom.
What do you call a shrimp hit by a car?
Road krill.
What do you call a goat who is in charge of a university?
Billy Dean.
Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving? The turkey because he's already stuffed!
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
Did You Hear About The Duck With A Drug Problem?
He was a quackhead.
Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
What did the carrot say to the rabbit? Do you want to grab a bite?
Why are goats from France musical?
Because they have French horns.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
What is a flamingo's favorite ride at a theme park? The flamingo-karts.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
Who is the Easter Bunny’s favorite movie actor? Rabbit De Niro!
What do you call a turtle chef?
A slow cooker.
What do you do if you find a blue Ichthyosaur ? Cheer him up!
How do deer clean their feet?
Hoof paste.
What does an alligator do when he loses his tail?
It goes to a re-tail store.
How can you tell which rabbits are getting old? Look for the grey hares.
What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
What do you call a woman with a frog on her head?
Lily.
I got in a fight with a crab yesterday.
When I punched him he ran, goon.
Why had the beaver left the pond? He thought it was too shallow.
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only 2. They'll fit.
What does a snail wear to go dancing?? Escargogo boots.
What do you call an turkey with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams? They lived hoppily ever after.
What did the deer say when he left the barbershop?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
Why do dogs find it hard to work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
My lobster's name is:
Claude
I thought of premeditated murder and a flash mob of crows came to my mind.
A well-loved parrot died, and was digitally immortalized in a 3D rendering.
Polygon but not forgotten.
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
What do married snakes have on their bath towels?
Hiss and Hers.
Why do owls always by mystery novels?
They love hoo-dunits.
What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ? Find somewhere else to sleep!
A priest is the best catch for a tiger as they like to prey.
When it’s raining, a turtle goes to a shell-ter.
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
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