How did the hammerhead do on his test?
He nailed it.
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open toad sandals.
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
What is a koala’s favorite Christmas carol? Deck the halls with boughs of holly, koala-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!!!
What happened when they planted new bamboo trees at the zoo?
It was pandamonium out there!
Why did the parrot cross the road? Just beak-ause!
What’s black and white and stands in the corner?
A naughty panda.
Q. What did the witch get when she crossed a doe with a tornado?
A. A whirling deer-vish.
What's the worst part about being a beaver?
It's a lot of dam work.
What do you call a bee who never brags?
A humble-bee
How did the koala bear get the high-paying job? He met all of the koalafications.
One day I saw a squirrel burying lotto tickets under a large bush, so I asked him what he was doing.
He told me he was hedging his bets.
What’s the silliest name you can give a tiger?
Spot.
Why did the bat often use mouthwash? She had bat breath.
How does a crab go when it's right?
"Aw, snap!"
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
What do you call a goat that lip-syncs?
Billy Vanilli.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
What type of dog can use a phone?
A dial-matian.
What did the Mountain lion say to the bathroom attendant?
Out of the way, I’m about to Puma pants!
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? a thesaurus.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
What is white and has long ears, whiskers, and sixteen wheels? Two rabbits on Rollerblades!
Why did the tiger lose at poker?
Because he was playing with a cheetah.
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
2 flies are playing soccer on a plate.
One says to the other "you'd better pick up your game Louie, we're playing in the cup tomorrow".
Why are houseflies great at arithmetics? Because they multiply really fast.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
What does Willow Smith say to her pets? I whip my hare back and forth.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bell?
An alarm cluck.
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
A do-you-think-he-saur-us.
Why did the duck go to the bank?
Because he wanted to get a new bill.
A flamingo can be a really good friend to have. However, they generally fit the bill really well.
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail and it will be de-lighted.
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
What does a ghost panda eat?
BamBOO!
There are good and bad times to buy a flamingo. Bad times are when they’re expensive, the best times are when they’re cheep.
Did you hear about the constipated crocodile?
It was a crockashit.
What's the difference between a lobster and a Chinese man who's been run over by a bus?
Ones a crustaecian and the other is a crushed Asian.
What does a turtle do during winter? Sit by the fire and worm himself up.
What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”
An M.C. Hammerhead.
What did the dolphin do to the woman who was rude to it?
Flipper off!
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