My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
What do you call an otter with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
What's the opposite of a positive crocodile?
A negator
What did the koala radio host say before going on a commercial break? “We’re going to take a small paws for our sponsors.”
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
What was the scariest prehistoric animal? The Terror-dactyl!
When doing laundry, the mother wolf accidentally fell into the washing machine. It became a wash and wearwolf.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
A saber tooth tiger would never blow anything up.
But a dino might.
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
Q. After the stripper is done, what happens at a stag party?
A. Deer-ty dancing.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? A turkey that can pluck itself!
Dad Bee left. Mama Bee calls out ...
Honeycomb home!
What do you get when you cross a snake and a frog?
A jump rope.
What do we call a deer without any eye?
“No – eye – deer.”
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
How can you tell the difference between an English and French crow?
"PourCUAWWW! PourCUAWWW!"
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
What do Chinese bears eat for breakfast?
Panda-cakes!
Flamingos are great to go out with, because they all party like flock stars.
How do clams call their friends?
Clams call their friends on their shell phones!
Why did the bee get married?
She found her honey.
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet?
Blood-thirsty hacker.
What does an owl need after having a bath?
A t-owl.
Why are parrots so good at imitations? They love parrot-y! (parody)
Wondering what crows prefer with soup, crows like crowtons in their soup.
What do you get when you cross a ghost with a chicken?
A poultry-geist.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
Why did the tadpole feel lonely?
Because he was newt to the area.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
Sometime flamingos get fixated on one thing, and it can be hard to get them to see things from another pers-peck-tive.
Why can’t you trust snakes?
They speak with forked tongues.
A group of crows is usually called a 'murder.' Technically, it's only a manslaughter unless there is probable caws.
What do crocodiles wear to keep their legs dry in the water?
Gaiters.
If you need a mystery-solving, just call an in-vesti-gator.
I met this really beautiful crustacean, but I lobst her number.
Why was the conservative buffalo disappointed in his child?
He was a bison.
Where does the Easter bunny get his eggs? From an eggplant.
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
What does a chocolate crow say? “Cacao!”
Q. How do you describe a stinking filthy buck?
A. Deer-ty.
How can you tell where the Easter Bunny has been? Eggs mark the spot.
What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping?
Pup-peroni.
Q. How did the wedding between the stag and the doe begin?
A. Deerly beloved...
What do bees call wasps?
Wanna-bees.
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
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