Why did the mouse stay inside?
Because it was raining cats and dogs.
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
Q. How do you describe a deer joke with a screwed up punch line?
A. Bucked up.
What do we call a deer that wears a mask and refuses to tell its name?
“Anony – moose.”
Whichever gator stole all the food, we'll catch the crook-a-dile.
What kind of helmet does a hermit crab wear?
A shell-met!
What did the married deer couple say to each other? I love you deer-ly!
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
The Easter Bunny won’t be making his usual rounds this year. He’s laid up with a hareline fracture.
I tried asking some beavers to help me build my house. They didn’t give a dam.
What is a giraffe’s favorite fruit?
Necktarines.
What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes? Rep Tiles
What did the owl say to the judge?
I’m talon you, it wasn’t me.
How does a baby beetle get around?
In a buggy.
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face?
A mouse-tache!
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
What did the owl’s valentine say?
You are hootiful.
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
How do you make a telephone in the jungle?
With toucans and a piece of string.
What did the bunny say to its crush? Hey there hop stuff.
A spider saw a car he liked at the dealership and decided to take it out for a spin.
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
What do you need to know to teach a dinosaur tricks? More than the dinosaur.
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth? Hard cheese!
Why didn't the T-rex skeleton attack the museum visitors? Because she had no guts!
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY
When a girl saw a sad alligator at the zoo she asked him; hey are you cai-man?
What kind of music do goats listen to?
Baaa-ch!
What do you call a cross between a donkey and a zebra?
Debra.
When the wolf stood on the grape, the latter said nothing but let out a little bit of a wine.
Why did the guy kill the fly?
It was bugging him.
I'm giving away a free legless parrot.
No perches necessary.
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
What do you call an ant with big hair?
Bouff-ant.
Where do parrots invest their money?
In the stork market
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all watching a dolphin do some excellent tricks.
The dolphin notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he jumps higher out of the water and calls out, 'Can you all see me now?' And they respond: 'Yes.' 'Oui.' 'Sí.' 'Ja.'
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
Why do dinosaurs eat raw meat? Because they don't know how to cook.
I just got back from Dubai where I was offered 40 camels for my wife.
I usually smoke Marlboro but hey... a deal's a deal.
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
What’s the difference between a crow and a chicken?
A chicken can crow, but a crow can’t chicken.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
When can three giant dinosaurs get under an umbrella and not get wet? When it's not raining!
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
What do you call a luxurious ant?
Decad-ant.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
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